ice.

out of my mind

2009-08-12T02:21:00.002+08:00

Still, i have the urge to sneak out of the house.
Sighhh.

Go, bad thoughts be gone.
Go, leave me alone..
Be done, be gone... being alone.
I can do it without you (:

I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better..
But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone.
Looking at you makes it harder, but I know that you'll find another that doesn't always make you want to cry..

I want you to know

2009-08-10T22:50:00.003+08:00

I went for NDP.
I saw the fireworks.
I missed you.
I am still missing you.
I want you to be beside me so much.
I have so many things to tell you.
But you're nowhere else to be found.

Tell me the truth, when the fireworks came out.
Did you even think of me a little?
Because I know you're out there watching the fireworks.

I want you to know that...
I want to hold your hands.
I want to hug you.
I want to give you a peck on your cheek.
I want to tell you that i still miss you.
I want to whisper to you that you're being loved by me. (:

Am i still your brightest firefly?

jokes

2009-07-30T19:10:00.002+08:00

First Joke of the day:

Did you hear about the self-help group for compulsive talkers?
It's called On & On Anon.

Second Joke of the day:

For the first time, my four-year-old daughter Kelsey was coming to my office to have me, a dental hygienist, clean her teeth. She was accompanied by her grandmother. When they came in, I greeted them warmly, seated Kelsey and, as usual, put on my gloves, goggles and mask.

About ten minutes into the procedure, she got scared and cried, "I want my mommy!"
I quickly pulled off my mask and said, "I am your mommy."
Without hesitating, my daughter yelled back, "Then I want my granny!"

Last Joke of the day (My own stupid joke):

Again, I didnt know that i will be that stupid and call the wrong person on the bus.
Last time i whispered into that familiar-looking (one of my besties) and said "hello there~"

Now, I freaking walked over and said "hey, wassup you fucking bitch" and when she turned... i realised she's not my friend. =.= OMG. somebody, i need some help!

courses

2009-07-29T02:40:00.002+08:00

T324 Production & Talent Management
B210 Events Logistics and Facilities Management
M205 Research Methods
M206 Ethics and IP in the Media
M342 Visual Communication

This is the five courses i'll be taking in the next sem.

Hope it will be good! :D

heh~!

Next year, i'll take MUSIC THEORY! :D hehehehe

why?

2009-07-28T12:54:00.000+08:00

First time the illness demon hit me so hard.

Couldn't wake up in the morning because of the fever.

Couldn't even speak anything, all i can do is to mouth the words out.

oh ya, i forgot to mention something about the stupid mucus.It was stuck so disgustingly in between my nose and throat. Yea, sucks to be ill.

Oh man, it was horrible.A fucking 2 days rest, in result making me lose 2 days of my school attendance.I hope it doesn't make it worst to my current GPA anymore.Argh.

Suddenly, i understand Love a little.Well, i think just a little.I know it's the same quote again.But it's true, ain't it?hahaha~

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not insist on its own way. Love bears all things, believes all things. Hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Hmmmmm.I dont know how to do that in real action,but i'm going to try. (:And not to give up...

Anyway, today is Ashley's birthday!hope your wishes come true.And please ah, do not get into a bitch fit frequently.Hahahaha :D

a little sidenote: I hope next sat & sun will be a better opportunity. HAHA! oh well, only i know what the hell i'm talking. Hmmmm....I'd hope you'll stay with me this time round. (:

firefly

2009-07-26T22:20:00.003+08:00

4-letter words.

Yet so hard to decipher.

I don't know what to expect anymore.

You said i'm your brightest firefly in your jar.

What happen now?

bikes

2009-07-22T22:45:00.010+08:00

Okay, after so long.
I've decided to just take my theory driving test.
Oh oh, and i'm pondering....

Hmmmm, should i take bike or car first?
I'm so inclined to take bike license!
I mean, i want a bike more than a car so much!
But many of my families and friends beg to differ.
Arghhh. So irritating!
Or maybe i should listen to them and take car first?
O.M.G, it's totally a hassle to learn driving.
Aiyah, i think, i should pass my basic and advance theory then decide on the bike or car problem.

Let me tell you what is orgasm.....

THIS IS ORGASM!

BIKE ROADSHOW near the singapore flyer.

Even the scooter looks nice. :/

I'm hyperventilating!! haha (just kidding :p)

.Anyway, these bikes are over 200cc except for the scooters. ARGHHH.

Anti-climax....... Even i have a bike license also no use.

I WANT A BIKE SO MUCH ! :(

On the side note (I saw this sentence and it's so true): "make sure u dont rush else u crush".

why

2009-07-22T12:41:00.001+08:00

Take me away.
I've sunk so low now.

the wound that would not heal, it's the bitter taste of losing everything that's dear to me.

100th post

2009-07-20T01:31:00.001+08:00

100th post.

I'm puzzled by a lot of things.
All these thoughts are locked inside me.
I was expecting for you and not somebody elses.
It was all out of hand, I can't control anything that's coming straight at me with a blow.
Your subtleties, all those things that you thought you can explain, yes, they are killing me.

Night cycling was a torture.
Yesterday night was more of a suffocating experience than fun.
My heart wasn't even with my cousins, it was somewhere else.
Smoked like some ass at the chalet. Sigh

But Raymond was sweet enough to send me home. Really appreciate alot.
Haha, someone from the west to send somebody from the east home. Heh
And not to mention that, my neighbour who sacrificed his time and his beauty sleep just to having a 2 hrs meaningless breakfast with me.
Because i were stuck outside my house front steps again.
Stupid, i know.
Thanks guys for making my day at least so much better.
It was sweet for you guys to do that. (:

Oh well, sometimes i feel that God is playing a fool on me..
Hmmmmm.

P.S Don't make me look at you with such disdain.

And to somebody else, are you gonna be a passerby in my life again?

Happy Birthday, Michelle Chan. (:
I'm just very tired, had lotsa fun with you.
Happy Birthday and hope your dreams come true.

i wont be here

2009-07-19T23:30:00.001+08:00

I want to dedicate this post to someone special.
But i guess not now.
Because you didnt appear when i needed you the most.
It's all your words, yet you're not the man of your words.

It's true isn't it,
the higher expectation you have for a person,
the harder and more painful you'll fall.

I still... sigh

dead

2009-07-17T12:48:00.002+08:00

Don't leave me hanging in the city so dead.

i'm not going to stop, ain't i?

2009-07-16T15:38:00.003+08:00

Apparently, i'm the fat one!
lol.
I just find this picture cute. :/

Anyway, just came back from a refreshing swim!
Damn! I just love it.

I am still feeling tired for everything...
Panic attacks cant seems to go away...
Anyway, i have 4 tickets to go zoo.
Anyone? (:

well oh well..

2009-07-16T01:32:00.003+08:00

Honestly? Honestly, i feel so lousy now.
I can't even do small little things for myself.

I cant make myself happy.
I lose touch on my dreams.
I don't know what I want.

I can't even do the most basic stretching exercise.
I can't even attempt to sit down and read my book for more than 5 minutes.

Wah, i'm speechless beyond speechless.
How can life be this meaningless for me?!

This cannot be happening on me.
I need to find a way back.
I need to run on the right track.
Like i always believed in "There will always be a light at the end of the dark tunnel."
Wake up, Qing Hui, wake up!

And yes, i've gave up on you.
Like somebody else said "Nothing was started, so I didn't lose anything."
Indeed.
Thanks babe! :D

I'm moving on.
BUT, can i skip school tml?
I want to go swimming so much! Arghhh. :/

Breathe easy.
An idle mind is a devil's playground..

harry potter and the half blood prince

2009-07-15T16:51:00.005+08:00

Finally after two years of waiting.
I can get to see my Harry Potter!
Premiere okay! hahaha. :p

Anyway, i just came back from my physiotherapy.
This will be like the last time i see my therapist.
Lol.

3 hrs to Harrypotter.
I'm sexcited! :p

What hurts the most??
Sigh..

lost in the middle

2009-07-11T23:30:00.005+08:00

I have so many feelings surging to my heart now.
And everything seems so vague now.
I wonder what is real and what's not.

Call it joy,
Call it pain,
Call it happiness,
Call it heartbreak,
Call it a new beginning.
I am here to face it all, no doubt i'm afraid of what is coming next.

But for one thing that i'm sure of,
I am real.
This is me.
I am not what they said, I am what you see.
I am still me, me that is still not lost in the midst of chaos.

You listened and you judged,
but the only person you never listen to, is me.
I never knew that you would find me, redundant.
It seems like deja-vu, it's like a broken record that has been played over and over again.
But i never gave up, the reason why?
I think you're worth the risk.
Simple, short & sweet, "you worth it."
It's that easy.

I lied, i gave up.

Ok, whatever it is,
i've been listening to korean songs.
And it brings me back to the Coffee Prince days!
Oh my oh my oh my~
I'm sucked into korean dramas again?!
They are like so so so sweet.
urghh. Gong yoo, i need a dosage of you everyday!
Come to me pleasee~ :p

Question of the day:
Can i get a husband like the one in coffee prince?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4RoFP46Yus
GO seeeee!
and i wont get tired looking at it every single time.
HAHAAHA

why

2009-07-10T17:14:00.001+08:00

Today, i had to force myself to sleep.
It's the hardest morning i had.

Good night!

2009-07-10T00:49:00.006+08:00

Everyone is full of worth, guard your heart a little.
Because there will be someone who thinks that you're worth the risk,
and that person will try ways and means to break your guard and then get to your heart.
(:

oh well, it's damn true, isn't it?

I'd think you're the worth the risk, but,
do you think i am worth the risk?
Now, that's the question.
Apparently not, I dont think i am worth the risk for you.
Ha, i've already moved on, so yea. (:

Now, these few days were all very meaningful.
School is tough, but nevertheless there's some precious peeps that make it oh-so easy for me.
Thanks thanks.

Can't wait to go out with Mic.k and Ash.C again!
Sentosaaaaaaa~!
And i'll be seeing my favourite Ajish at work today (later on)!
so so so excited!
Next wed will be physiotherapy again,
(P.S. i realised i didnt lock my twitter update, meaning that everyone can see it! *smack head*!)
FML.

oh man, i need a retail therapy session now,
make it better, with no limits of cash flow.
But the thought of scraping through the month with such lil $$$ just makes my head go bonkers.
I hate money, love is so painful already,
Why do stupid human introduce money into society,
worse still, power.

I miss cleff
I miss qi
I miss gary
I miss andy
I miss yola
I miss alot of people.
Sigh!

Good night! :D

hmmmm

2009-07-08T23:26:00.003+08:00

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
This is love.

Anyway,
Michael Jackson, rest in peace!
You'll always be loved! :D

1 cor 13

2009-07-08T13:13:00.002+08:00

After a close call, then i realised the importance of everyone.
My dad especially, my mum and so many people.
Well, i do know the importance but it wasnt so clear before. :p
And i think i am being super super asshole because i cant wait for news, literally.
So i spent my time away with Ashley.

Told a white lie.
Cried to Cleff, for the 3rd time.
Prayed. Still praying now.

Hmmmmm. (:

Realised that even though I sucks at talking.
Hope Gene is fine.
And still praying.
Changing myself for the better good.

Erm.
That's about it!

And to XuanHui, you're not forgotten, long lost sister!
Just that i dont have your pictures :(
hahaha.

1cor3, 1cor13.

the times

2009-07-06T19:10:00.004+08:00

Life is a bit hectic these few days.
Just got my router changed and yes, it works NOW! :D
Can start on my PP, so not looking forward to it.

"There are things in life that you can never hide and there are people who know how to hide their feelings better cuz once confronted, they can never back it up."

Do you remember the times?

I feel very compelled to blog these few days.
I shall do it when i'm much more better and in the mood to tell my story..
Hmmmm.

This month, everyone is having their birthday.
O.M.G i'm superb broke lah.

follow me on twitter, i'll update more than blogger. :p

What?

2009-06-26T01:01:00.002+08:00

Today was fun, I know, a very mundane word to describe what had happened.
Ate tau-huay at rocher road, the supposedly nice wan-ton noodle (which turns out to be, normal for a wan-ton noodle) and yes the eff-ing nice and crispy bean curd tarts!
full till the extent that my stomach could burst if i stuff any food down again.
But i didn't have any muffins today! (was hoping for that~)

Bishi-bashi & streetfighter with genexoxo, nat & yalumpi, hahahahaha!
it's been like 2 years plus since i really go into an arcade and spent my coins there.
Yes, exciting! heh!
Had great fun bashing the machines up, hey no, wait!
The machines are old already, need to be rougher, then they will react better.
Ask nat, especially the stupid street fighter.

Aiyah!
I think I'm getting older, i mean i used to play LAN with cleff & qi when i were, say, 15 or 16 years old? I can happily go out of the LAN shop being the usual high and nonchalant me.
But today? I went out of the LAN shop feeling giddy and eeeeww, vomit-ty.
I'm old, old, old, old!
Sigh! Age, the inevitable enemy creeping on everyone's door without knowing.

Anyway, the whole outing was fun and dudes, you guys really really cheered me up! heh. Loves! Thank you for the great evening! (:

Something happened to me today.
Can't believe it, okay to be honest, i haven't been reading any newspaper since last week. Don't ask me why, I just feel very lethargic these few days. So i wasn't quite update about the H1N1 except for some gossips and rumors.
I don't even bother to check when it's just a few clicks away. =.=

okay okay, back to what i was saying.
I went home late, and when i reached home, my dad opened door and he stared at me.
So i was like "papa~" (just a usual gesture when i reach home, i call everyone except my younger brother.)
he looked at me for 1 minute, keep staring and he didn't open the door.
*Please note that i don't have any keys.
I then continued saying "eh, open the door leh?"
and he burst out raising his voice at me, "THE NEWSPAPER SAID YOUR SCHOOL CLOSED HOR, and why you go school, TRY TO LIE TO ME AND THEN GO OUT IS IT?! YOU GOT H1N1 OR NOT? HUH? GOT TALK TO ANYONE WHO HAS H1N1 OR NOT?!"
I was stunned, and i started replying slowly.
"No, I never lie to you, because i had school today and i went out with my friends, and i told mummy already. And i don't know whether my classmates got H1N1, because clearly i don't know how to differentiate who has it and who doesn't, it's not as if their face got write things like 'i have h1n1 or i don't have' so ya, can i go home now?"
and he replied "okay, don't go to your room or sit down ah! Straight away, YOU go bathe. And don't get H1N1 back, because if i were to get quarantined, my job will be in jeopardy."

True, when i think about it.
If i am going to get H1N1, i think i really will make my dad lose his job.
Furthermore, he's the sole breadwinner in the family.

I think the way my school deals with the H1N1 cases, clearly shows that they are incompetent of handling such stuffs.
The way the newspaper reported saying that RP was closed, it doesnt telly when the school is STILL functioning right now!
Hello? Mr Principle in RP, what are you tring to do?!
And the fact that my block, on the 6th level, someone is suspected of having H1N1 and i'm on the freaking 5th level, quarantine is no fun okay. Yes, i cant afford to be quarantined because of your incompetency of dealing such important stuffs.

My god.
Can somebody tell me that school suppose to be fun, challenging and safe?!
Just think of the big picture and stop focusing on maintaining the school reputation will ya?
I hope the MOH step in and disinfect the bloody germs-spreading school.
No, i am not looking forward to e-Learning and stayig 1 week at home doing nothing, but i think that health is wealth..

Overall, Just think about rit okay?!

Anyway, i am okay lah!
Don't worry too much! (:
Just a bit quiet because my attention seems to be very diverted these few days. hmmmm.
HAHA, yeap! (:
Good night, it's 0100 am now! =.=
SLEEP TIGHT PEEPS!

one-liners again

2009-06-24T20:08:00.009+08:00

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument.. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’ s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

I'm still trying to learn those in green, give me some time will ya?

Some of them serve as a reminder, some of them as an encouragement. Yup. Oh well, I am human right? Needed something to get me through the problems. Everyone needed something to cope too. So, i'm not spared. heh (:

nights

2009-06-24T00:23:00.004+08:00

Okay, I had a lot of flaming to do today.
Really a lot, but i'll just stick to a few, because i'm quite cool now.
These few days, i'm taking it step by step.
Since people said i'm always so rush to settle things.
I'll just chill & relax, take all the time in the world.
And you'll see how my slow movements can thrill you. (to a specific person)

I'm not really sad, just trying to clear up the messes in my head.
Ah, you must be thinking, "WHAT FOR? WHEN THINGS ARE ALL OVER?"
right?
Nah, i just feel the need to do closure and then, put all the things behind me and move on.
I am feeling much better. Really better.

shit, i dont feel like blogging.
just list some shits down.
- transformers 2
- me, myself.
- pp

My reflexes are slow these few days.
Dont blame me if i'm slow or unresponsive.

The fact that i'm trying so hard doesnt change the current situation.
So i'm going to stop trying.
really just stop and just be the normal self back.
you know, run back on my track again.
Woohoo.

however, i can't stop trying.
I love to measure how deep is the water, or in simple words,
I just love to play with fire.
Not in the aspect of agitating people, but more towards myself.
For instance, i know this isnt going to work and i've already weighed the consequences myself.
but i'll just try it, and all the times, it fails.
My heart break, but then again, i'm ready to bang the wall.
I never learn from mistake, do i?

How ridiculous.
Sometimes i laugh at my stupidity, am i really that stupid?
Otherwise why am i trying so hard?
WHY?
When clearly the other party isnt interested, Why the fuck am i still trying?

Hmmmmm :/

I'm just not in the mood to blog. so i'll just let it bits and pieces be all around.
i will clean it up later. TTYL.
Going to sleep.
ciao arseholes,bitches and whatever.
let's do hook up in our dreams then.

thinking

2009-06-14T08:35:00.005+08:00

I can't think of what to write anymore.
And my mixed emotions in my heart is getting stronger and heavier as time passes.
I can't sleep.
I can't eat.
I can't dream.
I can't do anything constructive to my life anymore.
And i desperately needs those emotions to get off my chests/head/heart now.

i've lost my momentum with eveything that i've wanted in the first place.
Everything now seems to be in a blur.

I will just go back and play my Sims 3. Sigh

nah

2009-06-10T20:15:00.002+08:00

Will you feel the same way about me as I feel about you?
Nah, I doubt so.

matthew

2009-06-09T19:02:00.003+08:00

I am constantly praying that i would get better.
But this time around, nothing works.
And i guess, I guess it's time to get independent now (:

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”- Matthew

clumsy

2009-06-08T17:39:00.003+08:00

I'm damn depressed now.
I wonder how am i going to school with crutches and everything.
I don't know la!

How do I go school?
How do I go back too?
EVERY WEEK FOR 4 TIMES!
fuck. this is fucking sick.

How I hate myself for being so clumsy.
fuck.

urgh

2009-06-08T13:21:00.004+08:00

就好像在一个渔夫在浦鱼，
浦到一袋满满的可爱热带鱼，
可是没有一个是你。

Something corrupted my mind.
I need to get it off. URGH.

dont feel me

2009-06-07T16:03:00.003+08:00

Who is going to pay attention to my dreams now?

I can't really think properly now.
My head is a mess; my thoughts ain't straight.
Shit, I'm troubled.
Again.

Anyway,
I hope review will be good for me.
So that I won't have to cast my leg to school.
"Left Fifth Metatarsal Fracture" wtf.
I can't get over my clumsiness, i'm just so suay!

I sneezed more than 40 times today; in just 1 hr.
Now, i just want to chop my nose off,
use a little sucking machine to suck ALL my mucus out.
Cut my nose hair, make it clean.
Whatever, just make me stop sneezing.
That person who is missing me that is causing me to sneeze like mad;
pleaseeeee, Stop missing me now! :p
okay "W" shape on your head now. hahaha

Anyway, i was still thinking about what Shi Yong, Sikai & Stella's comments.
about me la dey~
They were in awe that i've changed so much since secondary school.
Am i really that bad in secondary school?
Am i a tyrant?
AAHHAA, i think i am way better okay!

Did i two time before?
I'm not a playboy girl okay, i'm super loyal to boyfie one.
hahaha.
and oh fuck, ashley listen!
I'm not a bitch that's desperate! HAHAHAHA.
I fell in love too easily lah, and i follow my heart~
At least i tried :p
I'd rather regret what I did than regret what I were too scared to do.

Did I impose such a bad impression on you guys?
Holy shit. hahaa.
I didnt know i'm such a let down in the past.
Oh well, i've changed for the better.
heh heh.

NOW!
I sneezed, i coughed, it feels like i'm choking on something;
the next moment trying to spill it out.
and great, my voice is coarse now!
VIOLA!
Damn the weather!

AGAIN 2012, regarding abt this day,
I'M FREAKING OUT AGAIN! ARGH!

picture

2009-06-06T22:40:00.004+08:00

This is how i'm feeling now.

Crazy or not?

The picture tells it all huh?

haha

2009-06-06T12:22:00.002+08:00

You were born on 9th day of February 1990, Friday.

Your Life :

You often have problem in promoting yourself, just because you don't know how to express your true self. On the other hand, you don't really care what they think. This is why people misunderstand you until they really get a chance to learn about your pleasant personality. Opposite sex find you mysterious and worth searching. Your wit is remarkable but sometimes you are too fast to follow.

Your Love :

You won't reveal your feeling even after dreaming about the same guy over and over. Your first love lasts forever. You are responsible to the feeling of your lover. The chance to betray your lover is none. You have luck with children.

darkness

2009-06-06T00:42:00.003+08:00

When we can't surmount the thoughts in our head, it starts to eat you up inside.
It starts eating and eating, gobbling down on everything they could get of you, your soul and your spirit.
Eventually you lose sight of the light, you lose sight of the sane-self you used to be.
Soon you will befriend with insanity, with the devils and hell become your home.
You can't find a way back.
You get lost.
You get paranoid about stuffs thinking everyone gonna do you harm.

And you ponder why life sucks so much now.
Why wouldnt it be better, why responsibilities seems so heavy at this moment.
You, this devil, long for someone to help you out.
You need someone to revert back to your old self.
Yet, because you feel that you can't even find yourself, how can somebody find you back for you when it's supposed to be your own problem?
The devil starts eating herself up.
And soon, you will know that whatever you did seems so unfamiliar to you, it's so not-you.
You can't recognize yourself in the mirror now.
You wanna stop, but the devil in you can't stop.
You wanna think properly, but the stress you gave yourself makes you think otherwise..
When will you stop and give yourself a break?

That's what "thoughts" do to us.

That's why i'm keeping faith.
I will be better (:
There ought to be something to keep us all alive.
For Me, I believe in God & Angels
No, i'm not preaching.
It's not about religion issue.
It's something that keep me alive in the midst of darkness.

What about you?

i'm done

2009-06-05T23:33:00.002+08:00

Shit ass, I hope I won't be in cast when school reopen.
Otherwise I might need to find partner to go school with.
Most probably I need to ask CheeBoon & Michelle to accompany me to school.
Damn irritating!
And Cheeboon actually don't mind, so sweet of him to do that :D
Thanks ah boon!

And now i'd understand why they say painkillers are addictive.
and i think i'm addicted to it.
I'm using it to get rid of the pain.
And it helps because i'm like on drug every moment.
I get sleepy and tired.
And i sleep everyday.
So, i forget about the pain, viola!
HAHAAH!

Didnt eat much thou,
can't have my appetite back.
It just feels like someone played me out recently.
And i feel super annoyed because of that person,
I fell down because of that person too.
Stupid or what?
VERY.
Okay, problem lies with me when i fell down too.
My eyes were blind.
Argh fuck.
So whatever it is, I don't care anymore.

I'm gonna try on another diet, but i'll need to drink more milk first.
Because of my broken bone.
I need to recover fast.

Arghhh.
After this 1 week of rest, i officially hate going to work.
i love the rest. and being myself.
Is either I be myself or nothing at all. (:

All of us have had the experience of a sudden joy that came when nothing in the world had forewarned us of its coming - a joy so thrilling that if it was born of misery we remembered even the misery with tenderness.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Wind, Sand and Stars, 1939, translated from French by Lewis Galantière

This quote is pretty (:

Life

2009-06-05T07:47:00.004+08:00

I am stuck at home;
given that i have 1 week not going anywhere because of my fractured foot & not knowing which bone has broken.
I have lots of time at hand and i need to spend it wisely.
I need to do PP, study for tests & I have 3 (Jodi Picoult) books to read. :D

Thou, I had already started on another book "Red-Light Nights, Bangkok Daze", but it's pretty much about why we should give prosititution a 2nd chance & not discriminate them.
But the point is, I discriminate alot on prosititution (the job not the people) and the more I see this author trying to side it, the more disgusted I feel about it.
I know, prosititution is the world's oldest profession. And the girls are pitiful because they have no money, thta's why they joined this profession.
Yet, I'm sorry, I just can't accept it.
No doubt, it's a good book, but i'mma have to let it go.
Just-so-not-my-taste. Yeap.

I'm so excited, because my Threadless Tees are coming all the way from, CHICAGO, IL, US!!
Weeeeee~ Tell me i'm gonna get my parcel in another 1-5 days :D
WAHAHAHAHAHA.

With this damn cast on my leg, there's lots of restriction that i'm having!
I can't even walk say run,
I can't even bathe properly,
I want to go downstairs but i can't!
Is either i need to be wheeled or I need my clutches.
my whole foot itch but I can't scratch it!

Fuck, I hope it heals faster! Because if i'm still in cast, i'll think about skipping school.
I'm damn serious.

And life is boring for me now. HAHAA

-----------------------------------------------------
Quote of the day:

I've been looking at this quote for quite a long time, and trying to deciper which part i'm at, and i'm still figuring it out.
I think i belonged to the 2nd part. Or maybe not.
I don't know. :(

"Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad." ~Norm Papernick

FML

2009-06-02T19:56:00.004+08:00

You won't believe what i went through today
Because i can't believed it too.

This is what had happened to me early on.
Sigh, now i can't even play badminton.
Swimming nor jogging.
SIGH.

Today, i went down the stairs and fell down.
Many people would say "aiya, you must be sms-ing hor"
The truth is, my handphone is in my pocket!
I just fell down, just like that okay!
Okay, i admit that i was thinking of someone at that time.
But it was fractured, can you believe it?
Just a few steps missed.
SIGH.

FML!

Just because my eyes do not tear does not mean my heart does not cry.
And just because I pretend to be strong does not mean there's nothing wrong.
Often, I choose to pretend I'm happy,
so I don't have to explain myself to people who would never UNDERSTANDS.

why

2009-06-02T00:45:00.002+08:00

Random thoughts that lingers for today (perhaps tomorrow):
I'm just a typical plain Jane, with giant dreams to achieve;
yet midget abilities to even start with.
I am pretty much similar to a lost kid at the cross-road junction;
waiting for someone to get me home.
Home-sweet-home, anyone?

Thought of the day:
Well i am what you see,
I am not what they say,
but if I turned out to be,
could you love me anyway?

YDI

2009-06-01T11:46:00.003+08:00

I am getting more and more psycho as i'm getting older.
Fook me.
I realised I have alot of fetish going on.
And yes, I can't help but to follow the flow.

And these few days,
it's my suckiest day ever.

Believe me.
Work has been very very very very very energy-sapping.
They really make full use of my $7 per hour.
But nevertheless, I never failed to look on the bright side of life.
FOOK, i'm lying.
I did go to one corner and emo.
But i'm alright lah. Sigh
FML.

────────────────────────────────────────
Random Thought:

I never know that a perfume speaks strongly of one's character.
My favourite smell is freshing & a lil bit of floral.
How does it speaks of me now?

────────────────────────────────────────
Reflection of the day:

No one is going to care what you like or what you don't like.
So, the best thing you can do for now,
is to stop showing that you care.

Just like how i need to stop caring for others;
and get a life. FML.

────────────────────────────────────────

My daily dosage, for now:
www.fmylife.com

My weekly sunday dosage, for now:
www.postsecret.blogspot.com

Te Amor,
Qinghui

argh

2009-05-31T00:27:00.009+08:00

Will you be my American Boy? ♥
Tell me that you will. (x

I don't feel like typing out how i feel.

Yet, I want to.

Arghhhh. Smack me please..

This is a very cute picture taken by me!

Hehehehe.

Just being random, amusing myself! :p

WARNING!!!

Today is SingYen's birthday !!!!

My beloved boy (:

Heh.

Let me do some reminiscing with just ONE nice picture.

(because blogger is such an hassle! tsk!)

His last year birthday with us.

Happy Birthday SingYen!

Hope you get a cute and nice GF okay!

Be Happpyyyy always & follow your ♥ !

One last thing, don't worry so much,

because your dreams will come true (: !!!

Please, i insist on celebrating your birthday.

But belated pleasezx?

because i am working almost everyday! :D

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Random thoughts:

Sometimes, i just want to stab a knife into my heart;

because if i do that, my heart will die.

& i will stop thinking too much.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reflection of the day:

Life is so much fun without misery;

but because of misery we know how to appreciate the fun.

So do you expect me to taste all misery before having fun in my life?

Fuck life.

By the time I'll be dead.

Fuck misery.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Add-Ons.

Ita gave birth to her cute little girl on 28'May'09.

Pretty mama was so brave that she didn't use any injection (i don't know what was that) to help her get through the pain!

See, i told you pretty mama is brave!

Well done! (:

Her name is Elly Elisha.

Welcome to the world!

May God bless you & Angels protecting you! (;

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I'm planning what to do on 12 &13 of June.

Ideas anyone?!

Places that no need to spend alot of money yet very fun?!

I'm going out with michelle.k! :D

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

tarot

2009-05-29T23:50:00.002+08:00

The tarot card describe me as : The Moon

It has been said many times that things are not always as they seem,
and in the influence of the Moon this axiom is particularly true.
In the moonlight, things that are benevolent during the day can suddenly seem dangerous and malicious.
The very term "moonlight" is misleading because the Moon does not emit light of its own, it simply reflects the light of the Sun.
Some people even claim to see the face of a man on the Moon's cratered surface, though of course such a thing is impossible and only an illusion.
A lot of people who look for that face in the Moon know it could not be there,
but they look nonetheless.

Woah, what does that means?
Hmmmm, i wonder. :D

question

2009-05-29T11:18:00.002+08:00

Sunshine is Andy lah!
My dearest brother! HAHAHAHA!
He's my sunshine okay :/

He's coming back to SG again! after his volunteer at china.
For another 13 days more. =.=
LOL.

Just a question for you all: What will you do when it all falls apart?

different

2009-05-28T08:53:00.002+08:00

I might feel a bit different here.
13 days till you.
or should i phrase it a different way?
13 days without you.
Not even handphone, emails or shits.

sigh, why'd you have to take my sunshine away?

chinese

2009-05-27T23:49:00.006+08:00

近来，我觉得我真得好累，好困。
想要的梦想都离我好遥远；
心，不管这样都好像不在焉。

闷闷不乐的。
做的每一件事；
喜欢上的那个人；
连朋友也是一样；
没有一件是成功的。
真的好困...

头痛，眼痛，手痛，脚痛。
心酸酸的，
那一阵一阵的隐痛，
把呼吸也变得好痛。
我都快喘不过气了。

就在那一瞬间，你的面孔浮面在我的脑海里。
我的心，
感觉上，比现在痛得要一百倍以上。

难道，我真的喜欢上你了吗？

ignore it, if you can't read chinese.
(:

Okay, I was thinking about my family tree.
Was having this conversation with one of my cousin.

(*)(*)(*)FiLiZ aka Judy(*)(*)(*) streSS up on.....WORK: funny hpr
(*)(*)(*)FiLiZ aka Judy(*)(*)(*) streSS up on.....WORK: mai goi give me one
(*)(*)(*)FiLiZ aka Judy(*)(*)(*) streSS up on.....WORK: yr cousin in taiwan
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: hahaha
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: which one?
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: it's like very ridiculous when i look at my family tree.
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: i only have you all as my cousins
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: so the rest, i still need to ask, "which one har?"
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: tsk tsk
Qhui - counting down; 14 days.: ok, the point is, i just feel very funny lah

I really feel very funny in a way.
I feel like we're the boars in the wild.
Eh, i like you, let's fuck man.
no, i think i like you better, let's fuck.
But oops, i've forgotten that i've fucked another one before.

To the extent that, during my grandmother's funeral, they have to introduce me to them.
"Eh, this is your tang ge (cousin) in taiwan."
=.= WTF?
Why would you introduce me my cousin to me?
Ain't we supposed to know each other?!
I was like "knsknnccbbbq, not my problem dude"
okay, i lied.
I was very nice to them.
But, that was in my heart at that time luh!

I was about to say something very obscene, but i've decided to keep it back.
Just that i am still not able to accept all of my cousins except for the few dearest ones.
And surprisingly, there's still alot more I don't know about it.
How complicated.
Tsk tsk.

After all these thoughts,
I dont wanna grow up and learn the complicity of life; or of adult life.
I just wanna be of this age, troubled by what i want to wear;
which guy i like; what should i not eat; what should i buy or not buy;
Even though life seems to get more of it than just the above few options.
But i am contended now.
Still striving to be happy. (:

Love is life and life is living.
how true.

Anyway, sunshine is fading away.
really really. I can feel it!
hahaha. At least i've figured it out;
soon he'll be back.
I guess :/
We shall see then.

Adiós.

2009-05-27T12:09:00.003+08:00

Please don't take my sunshine away.
Thank you.

bloodyhell

2009-05-26T00:41:00.004+08:00

Okay. Ash & Mic.N keep asking me.
"QingHui, what happened to your high taste in guys ah?"
okokok, I'm gonna tell you how i feel here.

I think, after seeing so much of couples breaking up with each other.
And me, myself had been through that.
I no longer find look a important factor when looking for relationship.
Then again, like I said, I'm not looking for a relationship now.
Yet, I think he's seriously cute eh. HAHAH!
Where got not up to standard? CUTE MAH!
Ok, whatever!
But please, i'm not hoping for more okay!
I'm just saying he's cute and that's it!
Don't think too much lah!

I have my faith up, even though i am fading into the background.
CONTRADICTION RIGHT! aiks.
Don't know how to explain.
But i guess i need faith in myself to do the impossible things.
(:

Okay, I'm bladdering nonsense.
So where's the bloody hell are you?!

oh, one more thing.
I can't read blog that is written in half han yu pin yin, half english.
Gosh, furthermore it's a slut that is use that writing style.
Double pissed off point!

We need to talk. - God

aiks!

2009-05-24T22:04:00.004+08:00

Usually, I loveeeeee my mum to the max.
Yet another period of time, I really hate her for the insensitive comments she made about me.
Sigh.

Work is fun again!
:D
With nadnad (daisho - don't yabeerrr too much uh) there's never ending bitching, right pink bitch?
HAHAHA.
And i camwhored today!
How surprising and cool right!
Morning shift is really bored in Terminal 1.
Ok, take a look at the pictures then. :p

At the back of the reception counter. LOL.

Ok, i look dumb ! :(

hahaha.
Can't help it peeps.
Dumb & cute.
Oops.

Talking about my uniform.
My super cute Benjamin is trying to fix me a new look.
hahahaha. He said "Let's treat this as a project. A communication project through presentation, and i'm talking about what you wear."
Hahaha. And i took the project up.
He's hunting for the material now.
I'm super lucky right. :D

Ok! There's so many things to digest today.
And I don't want to go school.
Constant Bs are changing my going-school vibe to fuck-school vibe.
I'm losing my momentum again!
Argh!

Anyway, there's something wrong with me today.
For no apparent reasons, I was being stared for nothing. =.=
And the girl is damn ah lian, maybe i look prettier than usual hoh!
WAHAHAHA.
Like i said, global warming is here because of me.
Sigh. Can't help it anymore :p

Good nights!
Sweet dreams!
Tomorrow will be a better day (:

sweet?

2009-05-23T22:24:00.006+08:00

WAHAHAHA :D CUTE RIGHT!
Very cheeky girl, really.

Okay, I am damn tired now.

Two kids are really hard to maintain.
I have had a hard time with them, lol.
They are really really bubbly & cute that cheers me up!
But very energy-sapping.
Worse than work and school, i swear!
Heh.

Angels & Demons is a nice movie.
Will keep you sending to the edge of your seat!

Fwah, btw, Benjamin is a very nice friend to hang out with.
He knows how to give me advices; not just any advices,
but good advices!
And i seriously love hearing his advices.
He can speaks to my heart man, yo!
LOL.
He went in depth when he analysed my problem,
and he break it down to the really really small bit and let me see a clearer picture.
Good right? :p
But he's really a nice friend.
Glad to have him.
Not to mention, all my other friends too (:

I need help with PP report! :(
Ok, but i think i need sleep more.
HAHAHAA.
GOOD NIGHTS & SWEET DREAMS
*IMISSYOULUH!*
:D

2009-05-23T00:57:00.002+08:00

Okay, if you think this post is for you.
It's for you then.

I am fed up. Very fed up.
I can't understand why a person with a lot of privileges in life can feel such sadness surrounding them.
You guys don't have to work and study at the same time, I NEED TO.
You don't have to go through the stupid "hey-i-have-only-4-hours-of-sleep-due-to-work" symptom. I HAVE!
You dont have to go through "i-wanna-go-out-but-i-have-work-in-the-morning" symptom. I DO.
You don't have to think thoroughly when you want to buy something because you are scared that the rest of your month you have nothing to eat. I HAVE TO.
SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM MAN?!
I don't even have the freaking time to even think about how to woo a guy (maybe a little? to amuse myself).
Financial is such a terrible thing, really.
When your hands are tight, there's nothing we can do except to pray for the days to pass by faster. Do you know the feeling of this?
Or do you know the feeling like "ok-if-i-buy-this-i-cannot-buy-another-things-already". I think it's been ages since i ever update my wardrobe, to be really honest.

HOWEVER, I AM STILL PROUD OF MY FAMILY.
I don't blame them for not giving me the comfortable lifestyle that everyone has; but in turn I appreciate their efforts for giving me their best.
Work is a different different situation, and during the years, I've learnt much about people. (still, i am very naive when it comes to friends)
I've learnt to be more independent.
Maybe like what you've said, I've been through much more than most of the people.
But the truth is, we are all learning to be a better person.
Me too.
So why, why subject yourself ONLY to love?
Love comes in a lot of forms.
Religion, FAMILY, friends?
Take a step back, relax.
Look around, if the bloody guy/girl don't fucking appreciate you.
Then tell them "burn in hell asshole!"
FACE IT AND WALK AWAY.
Feel the pain, let it engulf you and THEN LET IT GO.
One more thing, you're not obligated to a person, so neither is the person obligated to you. GET IT?
If someone "fly kite", there's nothing you can actually do about it.
Just accept it and then do the normal stuffs!!
I know, it's hard especially when it's your loved one.
But small matters, so why blow it up?
They have their own programme going on, you have yours too!
(:

I think almost everyone is self-centered.
That's a bloody fact that no one can change.
Unless you tell me that you're the holiest man in the world. (Which happened to be the only one in the whole wide world, and he's the pope currently in Vatican City now, and i THINK his name is Benedict XVI.) Then I'll believe you that you're not self-centered.

Come on man, everyone has the tendency to compare.
WHY? ok, i admit that i compare myself with others.
But the problem is, when I do comparison, i don't use the people to pull my spirit down and let them damper my mood or whatsoever that causes me to be sad.
Instead, I used them as a gauge to see where i'm standing in terms of what i am trying to compare.
So that i know how much more should i do in order to reach their standard.

You know, each and everyone has our own problems.
So stop, stop thinking that the world revolve within you and only you.
Nobody is going to stick with you for the rest of your life.
Face the fact, no one will be sticking with you through-out.
At a certain point of time, YES, there'll be friends that will hold you up,
clean your ass a lil, and a lil encouraging pat on your ass to keep you going.
But you think they will do this everytime you fall?
WAIT LONG LONG.

So, please do understand.
You can still talk to me, but i won't promise that i will be here with you all throughout the whole process.
I have my own life, my own job, my own problems. Basically, i have a life.
Work and school = my life now.
Not saying i don't have the source of entertainment, but, i just can't go out too often and slack around.
I need to do my PP, my readings and also to improve my command of English.
I hope that you, as a best friend/friend can understand my situation and stop rubbing salt into the wound.
I will deeply appreciate that.

You once tell me that i can't force the guy i like to like me back.
Now, i'm returning you this sentence to you.
Let him/her go, and free yourself.
The burden will drop.
Please, do not hurt yourself anymore.

Also, after typing out this post, i realised what i want.
But i need to sleep soon.
Talk more about it when i get back from work tomorrow! :D
Nights & sweet dreams

Stand by me

2009-05-21T21:31:00.003+08:00

My heart didn't just drop a little;
it drops all the way to the end.

I didn't run all the way here and then realise that i am still back on the same ground.
Thta's not the way it supposed to be.
I should be walking on the right path.
My vision is blurred again!
Tsktsk.
Stand by me will you?
Give me a little assurance :D

Gosh i am having high fever now.
I just feel like blogging for a lil while before i turn in to bed.
:(

But i feel happy today (:

Okay, i am always having contradicition :p
arghhh.
okay. good nights peeps!

2009-05-20T23:07:00.003+08:00

I can't watch those romantic drama anymore.
Oh my god.
It's so damn sweet; and it will set me thinking that this kind of guy still exist.
Which is also the same as wishing that there is true love.
Most probably it won't happen.

QINGHUI!
go jogging! not watching!
STUDY! not slacking!
arghh.

Maybe i should go back to sleep.
Like what i've done for today.
I slept the whole day..
and it feels great.

wooo

2009-05-20T15:29:00.002+08:00

Little did I know, you were there to sweep me away.
Who ever thought a day gone so wrong would turn out so lovely..

(:

Angels of mercy.

2009-05-18T00:49:00.003+08:00

Call me slow or whatever you guys want,
because today, after 19 years of living, I, then realised how fragile can life be.
The thoughts of that woman traumatized me.
She maybe a good mother of her own kids;
a good wife for her husband; a good daughter for her parents..
So many possibilities and thoughts of her.
What kind of person she will be...
Yet in a blink of eye, she was gone.

Just one fall, and that broke her spine.
So many people were fighting for her life.
The doctor, the nurses, our frontdesk receptionists, they didn't give up hopes on her.
But after a few hours, angels of death still took her away as she fought for her last breath of survival.

I can't help but think of her.
Life is so fragile.
Just like a thin thread hanging,
once it snaps, it snaps.

I wonder how life could be different without her for her family.
Will it be dull?
Or not meaningful?
or even lost?

Somehow, this makes me miss my grandmother.
I feel guilty because I am always being the self-centered one.
I fight to equal my standard with others.
I am always talking about myself.
So often that i forget how fragile life can be,
and how beautiful life can be.
I should stop and smell the flowers;
sniff the air; stroll a little and be myself.

The familiar smell of death is still lurking around me.
But still i can feel God is trying to pass me a message through this.
I wouldn't say it's a bad experience, but a learning lesson.
I can't find the real objective of this experience that will sum up what i've been through today,
but i know, i've learnt something.

Slack a little with stella & co.
I couldn't be more than happy to mingle myself with them.
Life should be wonderful everyday;
and it will be for me.

I am counting my blessings now.
I am happy for what i have now.
And i wouldn't ask for anything more.
except that, i hope the angels of death won't come knocking on my loved ones' door and my door.

Had a rough day today, and i think i should have a nice good sleep.
(:
QingHui, jiayou!

old times

2009-05-17T01:37:00.002+08:00

Had a long nice catching up session with Stella, Sikai, Deerick & ZhengMing just now.
Damn, i miss those times luh!
Hahaha.

It was really nice to see you guys there!
Snow & Shona; they are really really cute!
Okay, I'll bring my Taozi down on the next tuesday!
And I can't wait to see you guys again.
hehe.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.. (:

I have lots of pictures to post! :D
Including Snow, Shona & Taozi!
Arghhhh..
But i am super lazy to post it up!

ok! i'm going to sleep.
nights people!

why, why you?

2009-05-16T20:15:00.000+08:00

Work is fun;
keep laughing all the way with Ben and Ash.
And Ben is super smart okay!
He taught us what to put in our PP to make it attractive.
Damn, he's in Shatec and he knows all the SWOT stuffs.
Somehow i feel super dumb.
Ash was super impressed by how Ben's family works.
I am too.
He survived under the toughest critic of all.
Seriously.
I'm impressed.

I had vaccination of Influenza.
I'm so afraid of needle can!
My goodness, and it's still hurt even until now.
While walking to the Club house at Changi Airport for the injection;
my face really went pale lah.
Francis called me like several times and i didnt notice him.
LOL.
This is how bad needle can do to me.
I actually told the doctor something like this,
"I am really going to cry, i am so afraid of the needle! Can i not take the stupid injection? Do you have something oral instead?"
He was very gentle and patient, so he said "ok, you just look over to the other side and spell your company name for me okay"
and i went *trembling* "ok, h....a.....r....i..... (The needle went inside)........(voice becomes so shaky)l.......(And he pushed the liquid inside, i swear it hurts!) e.l.a.........ouchhhhh"
LOL.
work is good, reality escape.
I became another girl at the frontdesk that serve people with a smile.
A smile that i couldn't even smile for myself anymore.
I smile because of my passengers.
I smile because they need my smile to feel welcome.
And i feel happy.

The mask, the facade fits me nicely now.
Am i becoming another person again?

Have you ever heard the ringing silence of solitude? It locks one up inside
oneself, engulfing one with the sad certainty that one can never be more
miserable or pathetic than one already is. And within this cyst of self
constructed enclosure, one feels secure. Secure in sorrow that is unchanging and
unyielding.

HAHAHAHA! pretty time!

2009-05-15T01:04:00.000+08:00

Ok. Today we had the lousiest presentation ever.
OOPS. really really!
But it wasn't so bad afterall.
I think everyone was into laughing at our own pictures rather than thinking about our problem statement. LOL.
And yes, I keep laughing. =.="

Some pictures to share! :D

Cute moments!

Lol, we're actually feeling very awkward when we're taking the photos.

I think we're lacked of postures to pose for the cameras?

Or maybe we're just awkward? Hahaha!

But after we look at our own pictures.

Especially when we pressed the same pictures continuously.

I tell you, I still can laugh even till now.

Take a look lah!

I am spamming too much for now! oops

Gene's spastic face. LOL!
Look at Samantha @ the back.
LOL.

Last but not least,
our class exotic dancer!
MR.MARTIN PILLAY. LOL
And again~ oops

We took 103 pictures in total!

And laughed for a good 30 mins!

ok, my tummy still hurts from the laughing.

Ciao people. I'mma sleeping now :D

true

2009-05-14T01:20:00.000+08:00

A side note to add on;

Sometimes people aren't going to trust you;
And it may be for no reason at all.
Sometimes, people just judge you on what they think you will do;
on who they think you are.
And there's really nothing you can do about it.
But just remember one thing..
They're not cheating you, they're cheating themselves!

changed.

2009-05-14T00:26:00.000+08:00

I love how jogging makes my mind clear.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not jogging to lose any weight.

I'm jogging to keep my senses alive.

Otherwise, i would really love how a smoke can evoke my senses.

but no, I'm a changed person.

I'm not going on that path again.

I am still unclear of what i want.

Maybe I am still an ignorant young girl living my own world.

Yet i know whatever I'm fighting for now is worth it.

Trust me, i won't let you guys down.

*winks*

To the contrary,

I am constantly finding myself in dilemma.

When letting go is so much harder than holding on,

do we let go or do we hang on?

But like what Xuanhui said, "no one can ever replaced the memories"

yea, it's true.

Maybe what i think we can do now, is to bury the memories deep inside our heart.

So deep that we cannot dig it out again.

Sometimes it feels as if someone is pounding a knife inside my heart and it gets so pain that i couldn't breathe.

I think i am alright right?

It's normal right?

Yea, i guess so.

You tell me that you miss me,

but the feeling ain't right there.

I should be happy, yet the feeling feels so barren now.

I could feel almost nothing.

I am really changing to be a better person.

Give me some time.

Give me a lil faith.

I can do it,

without you (:

Lips FETISH! :p

2009-05-11T19:16:00.000+08:00

In latin lisp are called labia oris.

Lips are a visible body part at the mouth of humans and many animals.
Lips are soft, movable, and serve as the opening for food intake, as an erogenous organ used in kissing and other acts of intimacy, as a tactile sensory organ, and in the articulation of speech.

Oh man, i love lips, Lips, LIps, LIPs, LIPS!
I swear that they are the turn-on part on a body for me!
Seems super sexy for me lah.
No no, I'm not horny.
I'm just, in LURVEEE with LIPS.
They are just very sensual to me.
Erm, they just evoke my emotions lah! hahahahaa.

Eh, dont be stupid hor.
Only those super nice lips can me feel this way lah.
like duh!!!
I have bad bad habits, real bad.
You'll be shocked if you learnt the truth about me.

I love to see how people smoke.
It's either I find you gross or in another sense, say, intriguingly sexy?
HAHAAHAHA.
fuck, i'm psycho luh.

Justin timberlake has sexy lips!
It's full-filled, not fulfilled. LOL.
Even though it's thin but overall, kissable! :p

PICTURES TIME DARLING~
pictures speak more than a thousand words!

Lips from Victoria's Secret, the new lip gloss! How pretty~

In case you're wondering, the picture below is a guy's lip.
I know it seems gross, but not to me lah! LOL
See, I told you, smoking isn't a bad sport if you're talking about lip-wise!
heehee!

Candy candy on the wall, tell me whose pair of lips is the prettiest of all? ~

See! feel like kissing him? AHAAH

Ok, end of conversation!

This is one of my fetish lah! Fetish sounds wrong. hmmmmmm~ :p

2009-05-10T23:55:00.000+08:00

Dad just went into hospital.
I'm worried sick.
Really I am.

bless me

2009-05-10T13:54:00.000+08:00

Ok, enough said of those craps below.

I'm so gonna live my life.
Ok, i just came to realise that, i need to do so much better.
I'm not going to submit to fate just like that.
or should i say, people?

So, i'm going working now.
I'll be enjoying my subway at work.
I'm gonna crap with Iris and Farisha.
And prove to those that hate me for being a supervisor that i can handle this alone.
Wait till you see, i'm going to be so much better than you.

Ok, pass me some strength.
I need to get this going (:

I'm playing along (:
and proving it to them.
You will be so wrong about the things you've judged me.
(:
i'll prove you wrong.

And i can feel that He is around for me.
really.
like now.
He told me i shouldnt care and be god-like to others.
He said i should stand strong and be myself.
He said He love me.
And i know He mean it (:

broken heart & heart broken

2009-05-10T00:34:00.000+08:00

"A heart breaking isn't always as loud as a bomb exploding.. Sometimes it can be as quiet as a feather falling.. And the most painful thing is, no one really hears it, except you.."

Do me a favour people,
stop putting hatred in my tiny heart.

See, my comfort zone changes.
I thought work is always comforting,
but ever since i became the supervisor,
so many other supervisors are unhappy with me.
Why? You may want to ask.
But I don't know.
Perhaps i'm young?
Ignorant?
Playful?

Tell me man, tell me and i'll change.
Whatsup with the whispering acts behind my back?

This is unbearable.
My heart can't contain any of this anymore.
I'll be quiet from now on.
Quiet and do my own stuffs.
I'll change.
I'll change, i promise.

I want to believe in faith, in fate and in love.
I want to trust myself that i'm a girl that can make a difference.
I tried so hard.
I failed again.

I shouldnt try anymore (:
Don't tell me what Love is like,
whatever kind of loves it is, I just don't want to know.
Don't give me the wrong perception of love.
Love hurts like mad, really.
For once, don't lie to me.
Because i've experienced it.

Lord,
if you ever came across my blog,
please remember that i am lost somewhere in the way.
Pick me up, drive me home.
Give me a helping hand.
Amen.

I wish I was a kid again, because skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.

Comfort zone

2009-05-08T21:59:00.000+08:00

Long post. Buy some starbuck drinks before you read.
oh, and it's a angry post. (:

Comfort Zone.
Comforting?
Not exactly if you'd think about it properly.

What happens if your comfort zone gets more and more suffocating?
And eventually your comfort zone becomes a thin line for you to stand,
no place to even sit back and relax.
Everything seems to be a blur;
same people; same places;
yet different situations.
What will YOU do?
Stay? or Run?

Will you still stay in your comfort zone and do the uncomfortable things that used to be comfortable?
I don't know.
For me, I will leave for good.

My comfort zone changes constantly.
I'm so used to constant changing, so used to it that,
i think i need someone to grab me tight and hold me down.
Constant changing is tearing me apart.
Part of me got lost in changes.
I guess I can't stop changing; because i can't find myself yet.
I'm all over the places, i can't piece myself up.
So many pieces of me here and there, so many memories got left behind.
Heartache, when i think about it.
I want to break away.
really.

The best part is, when i lost myself,
i never found myself back.
Never.

So, i chose to run.
Run for cover and build another comfort zone.
I meet people, i open up.
They tore it down again.

Built, opened, destroyed.
same process.
this is the only constant in my life, "build-open-destroyed".
Pathetic as it seems; nothing seems to change.
Can't explained in another sense.
And i'm used to it.

Friends?
They are pressurizing to me.
Not to all though, i am lucky, i have a few good ones.

I need freedom, I am bad at guessing.
You guys have to tell me what you all want.
Don't ask me to do things that i don't want to do.
Don't force me, and i'm not talking about work-wise (school and workplace), i'm talking about friendship-wise.

Another issue
I can't read mind; i don't like to analyse people.
Because this would make you all seems like an animal.
Space people! I need space.
YOU NEED SPACE.
I need air.
YOU NEED AIR.
I am a thinker.
YOU ARE A THINKER TOO.
We're all adults, let's admit that we are all special and unique.
We are different in character, styles, fashion, thinking, culture and upbringing.
We all work in different ways.
You can't force me to do the things i don't like.

When it comes to thinking, i can't stop at nothing.
This is in my blood, i freaking think.
Sigh.

Nobody understands.
I need freedom, i need space.
I need people who cares about me and not get angry at trivial matters with me.
I need you guys to understand i am tired of expressing who i am.
I want to be accepted for who i am.
I know i come and go whenever i like, but you all have been on my mind.
Not that you guys are trash, but this is me.
I cant stick around for long;
because i need excitement.
I run around, I don't stick.
To the contrary, if you're someone important to me, i will get clingy.
I DONT KNOW, THIS IS ME.
ME.

I don't care anymore.
I dont want to feel for other people anymore.
I'm gonna do what Ashley said last time.
"YOU, and only YOU, YOURSELF MATTERS TO YOURSELF THE MOST"
Don't ask me what should i do,
because i jolly well knows what i need to do for myself.
Dont tell me that i should fuck this and that, i dont want to listen.

I'm fed up with friendship shits.
Shit happens, and it happens to me always.
I'm stopping; no more of all those stuffs.
I'm gonna stop thinking.
no more bffs, friends, buddy, brother, sister, darling, dear, partner, lesbian partner , besties, fake-bfs, and whatever shit that it was used to be.

I'm lost again.
Fuck comfort zone.
Fuck friends.
Fuck everyone that tears me apart.
fuck you, fuck you guys upside down.
Fuck you all.

I shall let my guard down, and see who catches me by then.
I hope it's you.
Yet i shall not put high hopes on you anymore.
Because i know, it wont be anyone.
Done, period.

I dont believe in Love anymore, all sorts of love.
Lying asses, i hope your pants are on fire!
aigoooo!

Taken from a blog i always read.

"Pressure builds. With no outlet. Leads to more pressure building, which leads to anxiety.

We seek relief and scan for whats around us.

We shower our affections on those that we would usually not bother, or to those who don't appreciate it.

We get hurt by their nonchalance, or because we deep down, we know they don't really deserve our affections in the first place or don't really appreciate it at all.

What happens. When you have too much love to give? And no place to put it?"

So true. (cited from : http://tiradeagainsthumanity.blogspot.com/)

Out with aloy, watched star trek!
and it's nice.
It's been such a long time since i catch up with him.
But it's nice going out with him again! (:

ass-ed day

2009-05-07T20:43:00.000+08:00

My ligament still hurts since last Saturday.
Sigh, don't know why.
It gets so hard to jump and walk now.
I'm really getting older..
oh my.

I guess time is what i needed.
I stumbled, and i'm back on the path again.
Let me be cranky for a while.
I am fine, i promise.
My face is stucked up when i dont talk.
So no, i'm not angry nor whatever shit.
I'm just tired and breathless.
I need to catch my breath before i can continue.

if you're wondering;
i still miss you much;
even if you're just right beside me.
Maybe the feeling's gone for you;
but for me?
It's still lingering.

if you think it's you, it might not be you.
but it might be you.
however; don't think too much.
redundant information. LOL

Be my sweet and sugar.
But i know, you won't (:
sigh.
i know.
i just want to bang the wall again? =/

why?

2009-05-06T00:06:00.000+08:00

I'm PARANOID!
yes i am.

SAVE ME, PEOPLE!
THE EARTH ENDING @ 2012?
are you guys sure?!
I know this is a very old piece of news,
BUT the more i think about it.
THE MORE I AM GETTING SCARED!

DAMN!
I'm gonna start telling people what i love about them.
SERIOUSLY.

YAH, before i die and they didnt know i love them!
DAMN DAMN.
I need to tell them.
Heehee

Haters?
They don't deserve my time.
Just do whatever you like.
Ha, you're none of my concern =/
oops.

Talk that sexy talk to me, sexy.
WOOOO.

I am okay :D
okay.
okay.

hah

2009-05-05T16:02:00.001+08:00

I am really trying very hard;
despite the pain heartbreak.

Give me some quality time to revert back to my old self (:

choices

2009-05-04T19:53:00.000+08:00

HAHA.
This post will greatly interest those who cares for me :D
Oh well, if you don't, just don't read.

You guys might be thinking "why huihui never join us for lunch & dinner & outings already?"
or "huihui so emo these few days loh"
or "what happened to huihui? something is wrong with her"
or you might get into a group and analyse me.
HAHAHA, don't say i'm thick-skinned; Michelle Neo did and still doing that! LOL.
i know i know :P
and huihui is the name they called me (my clique);
including cousins.
I don't usually allowed people to do that. (:

Let me just tell you all.
This is a very bad habit of mine.
I think Michelle Neo will hate me when i say this :P
She probably doesnt know.

When i met with difficulties;
being the normal me don't really open up to close friends.
Yet, if you all got problems can talk to me ok! :D

I hit on friends that ain't close with me; or friends that probably see things much better than me (which means smarter than me luh!); OR friends that is going to be close with me yet doesn't know anything about me.
Not that you guys ain't smart for me nor good enough.
Just that i want to get raw opinions.
Come to think of it; you guys are the best!
When i want to meet, you all will meet me.
When i want to eat, you all will eat with me.
I mean where do i find such treasures?

But still, being the fucking self-denial me,
I don't want to bother you all.
I just want to try solving my problems.
I want to get everything through my own hands, own efforts.
I want to do something without connections.
I just want to prove that i'm capable instead of "woah, she has a rich bf or rich friends that can get her anywhere she wants"
I know the importance of connections.
Yet i want none of these.

So when you see i'm in dilema,
relaxed; dont panick!
Neither am i a problem statement (like what singyen said)

YES, I WILL run away from everyone;
but at the end of the day, i'm a lost kid.
I will still go back to mama; her best friends and her sweets.
Bear with my strange temper.
I will be fine.
Just that i tend to push myself too much (:
Will be fine.

Today, the dream that i've always ALWAYS wanted to achieve is destroyed.
THE THING I WANTED IT ALOT.
I burnt them away from my own hands.
My own decision.
I cant explained the feeling.
There's a few times in the class i wanted to break down and cry so badly.
All i want to do is to run out from the classroom, start hitting on walls, or do something that can take away the hurt from my heart.
and that fucking bitchy me starts pissing people off. (ashley, that's our forte. LOL)
If i said something horrible or do something horrible to you.
I am sorry.
Very sorry.
I don't mean to say these.
If you feel that i need to make it up for you; i will do it.
(:

So, peeps, matter resolved?
Now i've turned one big round.
I am back on the same ground.
I am happy with what i choose.
and i will be so much better than him! (:
I will be :D
and i'm still a lost kid on the block!
But i think you guys will be there right?!

I Love You All :D

Mum, when you tells me about your bf;
part of me really feels dead inside.
I know you're huting real bad inside.
sorry mum, i'm not capable of listening to your secrets.
I feel much more worst than you.
i know dad is demanding, but that's not the way.
not the way for me too.
I am tired of collecting your problem..
just let me be alone for once.
maybe thats the way why i know promises are meant to be broken.
In the end, i am still on my own;
I'm still a broken doll.

When choices come limited,
When the path you walk is getting darker and leads you to nowhere;
all you left will be yourself.
Friends?
It depends (:

and no, i'm not trying bragged about how bad my life is. just that this moment of life appears to be the dullest and unhappiest moment ever.

I couldnt imagine any thing worst than this, like destroying my own dreams and hardwork.

but i knew, all the heart-breaking choices i made is right. (: just stay and dont go before i lose everything again. ok?

hunks

2009-05-03T01:20:00.000+08:00

Oh ya.
I cannot fathom this.
There's like a few people pissing me off.

I know i sound wrong in my MSN nick.
But that was the whole point right!!!
"Hugh Jackman is my husband, Daniel Henney is sexay! Can we do threesome?"
Whatsup with you people ?

The common spamming for girls.
"HUGH JACKMAN!! dont be so greedy!"
The fucking spam from guys.
"Are you so horny?"

That's the difference between the two sexes.
We girls, look at the main picture;
Hugh Jackman & Daniel Henney.
HUGH JACKMAN & DANIEL HENNEY.
DANIEL HENNEY & HUGH JACKMAN.
woah, hot guys.
That's the point! You-go-girls!
they are sizzling hot i know! :p

Yet, for guys?
THREESOME
THREESOME
THREESOME.
think straight will ya?
Seriously, is your brain size as small as your nuts?
Or do your brain grow underneath there?
=.=
Seriously, i will really fall in love with a hot guy.
But, damn. i need the brain as well.
Where to find intelligent guys?!

AND HELLO?!
I don't have any boyfie for 3 years (going 4 alrdy);
by going gaga over the hot and sexay guys do not make me a despo.
Let me repeat, by going crazy over hugh jackman/gong yoo/daniel henney/dennis oh do not make me a desperate.
If i am one, i will have LOTS of BOYFIE when i was working & studying.
By falling in love doesnt make me a desperate too.
And pls, i can count with my fingers how many guys have i had a crush on or i liked before in this 3 fucking years.
1 - liked (buddy)
1- crush (yr1sem1's classmate)
SERIOUS SHIT?!
this is how pathetic i am.

oh ya. Mr A isn't anything at all.
HE IS MY "BROTHER" FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
only ashley know what status i am in now.
and the stupid love at first sight thingy which is happening now. (something that i dont believed at all)
no it's not Mr A at all!

Sigh, I am still in denial.
shutup now.
Let's move on!

GONG YOO

DENNIS OH

HUGH JACKMAN

DANIEL HENNEY

and honey, out of 4, three of them are Koreans.
and this is how much i adored Asian hunks! wooo~

ICE AGE 3!
HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE!
TRANSFORMER!

omg omg omg!
they are coming.
AND WHY AIN'T MY JASON BOURNE COMING?
THEY JUST HAD A NEW SEQUENCE BOOK ON THAT!
I miss my Matt Damon :(

They should make the movies come faster.
My brain need time off! :(

i wanted to watch Friday the 13th,
BUT. i am scared loh! :(
Got Jared Padalecki!

hahaha.
like what Benjamin said,
"you must see what movie is she watching? she only go there and see actors only."
LOL.
oops! you've got me !

woo

2009-05-02T23:17:00.000+08:00

Mr.A is going US in another 3 days time.
He's gonna get out of my life again~
sigh.
lalalala~ (:

I have very very very big decision to make; not regarding abt him thou.
I am confused, help someone?

Wolverine is damn nice!
I swear on my life that it is super nice.
I was squealing all the way.
Ashley was whispering something like "Qinghui, are you that desperate?"
hahahahah!
Ash, I can hang a big signboard on my neck and say,
"LOOK! I'M DESPERATE! but condition applies to Hugh Jackman only*"
HAHAHAAHAHH~
I am desperate for Hugh Jackman, not any other single stupid guy! :p

I need shopping!

Wishlist.
1. MANU JERSEY! (CHEER FOR THE RED DEVILS!)
2. SNEAKERS!
3. CAP!
4. WALLET! (Braun Buffel!)
5. Some kuku bag luh..
6. Maybe bermudas
7. Maybe some nice T-shirts lah!

no.. i am not wearing those guys guys type one. =.=

OH MAN, SHOPPING ANYONE?!
Have to see where my budget takes me to!
SIGH.

Whatever it is. let's get lost tonight!

Mr A

2009-05-01T21:11:00.000+08:00

I am going to blog this.
Before i forget everything.

Me = Purple
Mr A = Pink

At work, and my phone vibrated around 4pm, just when i was about to go.
"hellooo~"
"wth it's you ah!"
"eh, what wth! i'm waiting for you at parking lot T1, come and meet me now ok?"
"huh, i'm working in T3 leh and why are you here?"
*silence*
"okok, i go over, 15 mins!"
"ok! hahahaa, stupid girl!"
"GRRR!"
Put down.

and then i met him at the Cheers there.
i walked over there and i found him.
"WAHHH, someone becoming more handsome lah! how's ya making-girls-going-gaga-over-you job?"
"eh, i don't rmb you! you look dead yet prettier! what stupid job?! no lah! silly girl."
*glare at him* =.=
"hows you and pat? oh that one was way over. i mean hows you and france?
"i think i need to bring you over my house and feed you and stuff food inside your mouth so that you can stop asking me questions."
"WAH. NO THANKS LOH!"
"you need that darling"

we walked and he keep looking at me,
i swear it was like so uneasy,
and then he's like the usual self again,
grab my head and keep shaking! =.=
stupid.

"i've got a surprise to let you see!"
"why now? i thought you've forgotten me alrdy!"
"lady, look! i never forgot abt you, just that france dont like me to talk to you!"
"HELLO WHY?! i thought she always locked my arms and asked me to go out with her?! ok, that was long time ago stuffs. HAHAAH"
"are you always that cute asking cute questions?"
"was that an insult or compliement?"
"it works in the both way!"
"SHIT YOU"
walk over to his car
STOPPED. and his fucking car!

"hey baby, this is my BMW toy car!"
"ohhhh,fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou!!!"
"no thanks no thanks no thanks honey!"
"OH MY GOODNESS! WHAT IS THIS! YOU HAVE A NEW CAR!"
"yes darling! OBVIOUSLY! want a ride?"
"Hell yes! i want to ride the car but not you!"
"I think i miss you like mad, the old times, gosh, and why are you taking rides so easily from handsome guy? later you kena rape ah!"
"ok, continue driving, and fuck, i love your toy car"
"yea i know, everyone says so!"
"SHUDDUP!"

after 3 mins.
i was touching with the buttons and everything.
"small little girl forever, stop touching my new baby, she feels violated lah"
"anyway"
"you look slimer now."
"what happened?"
"my heart ached just by looking at your blog"
"drive your baby and dont stop"
"i wont answer any of your questions"
"look, i'm sorry, i'm going overseas here and then, but if you need help, tell me"
"i'll be here with you, A"
"thanks Q"
"i'm here too Q"

keep on touching his car all the way to my house downstairs*
"dont wear makeup la, it's not a grand dinner"
"hmmmm, okok and who says i'm gonna wear make up? :p"

Phone rings!
"oi, auntie, 7pm liao, i am waiting under your block!"
"i dont know what to wear lah!"
"anyhow wear lah! you're going my house for dinner, my mum already cooked yours already"
"HUH! YOUR MUM! YOUR FAMILY?! OK, I NOT GOING, BYE!"
"auntie, my mum said she miss you, come lah, i thought you very talkative?"
"er, OK AH! you owe me a treat to POSH RESTAURANT!"
"HANA AUNTIE! YOU WANT TO WEAR NAKED ALSO CAN! FASTER!"
"piang eh, so kan chiong, dont ask me out lah"
"waiting!"

reached down stairs.
"hello! eh you still have 6 packs ah!"
*poke*
"er, never really train liao, been studying so much that i've forgotten myself"
"YEA RIGHT!"
"ya, hahaha. i know you don't believe, nvm then!"
"eh, i think my ligament tear becoming serious"
"really ah, seen a doc?"
"no, lazy"
"you ah...!"
GRINS.

after 25 mins, we've reached his house.
"come, i carry you! it's at my aunt's house!"
"WTF, are you crazy?!"
"no i'm not!"
i ran and he caught up with me, like the old times, he piggy-backed me.
"what have you ate ah?"
"OKOK, PUT ME DOWN!"
"JUST JOKING AH! RELAX! YOUR TURN CARRY ME!"

and i carried him, he's like 185 tall.
of course, we both fall and then he continue carying me
"eh, why are you bringing me home for dinner?"
"my ah ma birthday lah"
"why you never tell me! i never bring anything for her lehs!"
"because you are always that mafan! that's why i dont tell you!"
"why do you have to keep lying to me?!"
and he ran with me on my back.

and i go inside his aunt's place on his back, everyone keep looking at me.
indeed, everyone was waiting for me.
france was there too.
"hey Qinghui, long time no see!"
"hey france, how are you?!"
"never been better. hahaha"
"oh i see, i think i better talk less to a person who restrict my friend to stop talking to me" (:
I am bad, but she wasn't invited.
Who cares right?!

It was a great dinner.
really great dinner.
He will be going US for his studies soon.
like really really soon.

"Ms Q, you're a great girl and i dont wanna lose you, find someone who treasures you ok!"
"haahah, just stop being so random, and i think he will love you for your random-ness"
"you are always full of surprising moves, and the way you talked, make you seems like you fall in love with every single guy you see"
"thanks A, this is me, i cant change and i believe i will never find someone like this"
"and i am always like this, i am straight-forward, rmb when you first meet me? i keep telling you that you're cute and handsome. it's the fact. and when i said i miss you, i really miss you! if they cant take it, then forget it loh."
"okok, you're special in a way"
"AND it takes time to love, silly girl."
"you've always been my brother to me, like really really close brother."
"you're my sister too!"
"ok, i love you brother!"
"seee! the declaring love to everyone style! hahaha, anyway i love you too!"
"let me send you home!"
"let's go!"

the normal chat,
the normal days,
i knew it will never been the same.
instead, it will be so much more beautiful.
(:
the silent we understand.
and no, i don't blame you for forgetting me.
like you said, you never did.

As a sister,
i know i've been a small little kid to you ever since we've met.
let's stay this way ok!
and, i miss you.
seriously ! (:

and you will have a nice girl eventually.
I know you will have it.
Just stay focus on the heart, not the look lah!
hahaha.
as for me,
i've already said, i'm not looking for a relationship now.
But let's say if he comes, i will think first.
And after that, if he's good.
I will accept him.

LOL. love is like menses right, when it comes it comes! HAHAAHAHAH.
STUPID YOU!

anyway.
you're way hotter than Hugh Jackman.
LOL.
and i'm glad i didnt watch X-men and missed out a great evening with you! :p

in case you all are wondering.
Mr A is someone i dont talk to anyone about.
He is very special.
Mr A is a well-kept secret. (:
Mr A isn't Ashley.
Ashley is Mr C. (chan)
Mr A is someone so hot that if i post his photos, girls will kill me.
and i dont even bother to take any pictures with him.
HAHAHAH!
he is 3 yrs older than me.
Currently studying in USA.
But he's a big flirt, yet he doesn't flirt with me. (WHY?!) HHAHAHAHA.
Mr A ah! I MISS YOU. MEET UP SOON!

and to ashley,
you're my BFF like forever and always.
you can't have stupid thoughts ok!
i love you and i really love you as a BFF
even thou you might get on my nerve sometimes!
heehee!

HELLO !

2009-05-01T17:11:00.000+08:00

It wasn't the best day.
Because the first day of being supervisor;
i was being confronted by another terminal supervisor.
WTH.
Nevermind, as long as some of you guys have faith in me.
I believe i can do so much better! :D

ANYWAY!
"Mr.A is going to pick me up later for a dinner!"
I feel extremely excited, because it's been such a long time since someone drop me such sweet suprise!
AND I'M FEELING VERY IRRTATED because someone is showing off his new car!
(P.S: it's not your car right! just your parent's car loh!)

Indeed, i was shocked when you waited for me after my work;
Just to tell me that you wanna treat me a dinner.
(BUT HE DOESNT WANT TO WATCH WOLVERINE! WHY?!)
Then you drove me home;
AND now, i'm like left with 2 hours to prepare.
BUT WHO CARES, I'M GOONNNAA WEAR WHAT I LIKE AND BE MYSELF! HAHAHAHAAH.

I am like super happy once again!
Mr.A don't do this.
I'm not going to fall in love with you! LOL.
you're such a dear dear friend to me !
ok, i'm super thick-skinned now.

someone elses is on my mind for the whole damn day till now.
i was thinking abt what i prayed last night.
Hopefully it is still it is.
Maybe i should just let things be this way..
Maybe.
It would be better. sigh.
cross my fingers.
I should do nothing at all!

people

2009-04-30T23:06:00.000+08:00

Miscommunication always happen,
but not for today.

and i am serious about what i said. :D

sigh.
Tml's gonna be a very busy day.
Training-supervisor!
Knock off work at 4pm!
and hunting people to watch WOLVERINE with me! :(

Ash: I hope you're alright with your significant partner. i miss bitching with you :(
Mic.N: WOLVERINE!
Mic.K: hey sister, dont be sad, we will go eat nice food once you can eat again ok! (:
Qi: I miss talking crap with you! brother, i really really miss you :(
Beng: You've GONE DEAD! WHY?!
Ash.T: OI!
Phoebe: Don't be too sad and whinning non-stop because of your laptop ok! :D
bud: Thanks for everything (:
oh, and yangyi: I'll be there, like seriously. no joke ok! (:

i'll pray for you, you know i will!

My prayers are always coming true ok! :p

i need to start moving on;

and be that happy person i used to be again!

Tough time don't last, tough man do!

i'm a TOUGH MAN! :p

oh peeps, pray for me that i wont contract any swine flu.

because i'm working in the airport luh! :(

why

2009-04-30T18:25:00.001+08:00

you tell me that you love me;
you hold my hand when you dont mean it.
you hug me when you need it.
you tell me all those stuffs.
yet they are all delusions.
after all these, you tell me we are not fated.

I'm lucky that i didnt fall deep into it;
i managed to climb up.
all these times, i'm the one that falls.
not you right.

oh well, period.
i'm okay with all your lies, dreams, wanna-be-together thingy.
NOW,
I'm walking back on my own path.
no more togethers, no more dreams, no more lies.
I am me, You are you.

but still, i can't deny the fact that...
i miss you as a best friend.
i miss you as someone whom i can be crazy with.
i miss you being my right-hand.
i miss you being my monster rahrah.
i miss you being someone whom i can text to.
someone whom listens to my cries/sobbings at night.
someone whom calms me down when everything is going so wrong.
someone whom share your joy with me (and vice versa).
someone that is very IMPORTANT to me.

& why all these happens?
i won't believe in any single thing anymore.
i can't stand it.

"Dear God,
You know my troubles,
You know me well.
Recently, there's someone that i prayed for.
I just want You to tell him some stuffs.
i will fill you in tonight.
Please pass it on.
Amen

i will pray again tonight; every night.

chris woo is actually quite cute! :D

oh my

2009-04-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

BUDDY!
sorry, i didnt make it today :(

kisses for you okay!
you know i dont mean it (:

and sigh.
today is a bad day.
I'm having bad headache!
comp crash on me for 2 times already.

unknowingly, i think i miss you lor.
JIALAT

home

2009-04-28T19:12:00.000+08:00

I'M COMING HOME AGAIN.
DO YOU THINK ABOUT ME AND THEN?
I'M COMING HOME AGAIN.

going to walk my cute dog.
peeps!
and i know you're definitely not a home to me anymore.
(:

yea

2009-04-27T22:57:00.000+08:00

Giant Dreams, Midget Abilities.

skipped school today.
Just because i can't find myself back.

i'm feeling very giddy.
i should get back to my sleep (:
nights people.

give it up, give it up.
that's the only way.

esplande

2009-04-27T00:17:00.000+08:00

I left you a message at Esplande library.
I'd hope you get it.

hmmm. i left it all there. (:

stuffs

2009-04-24T23:34:00.000+08:00

Joke of the day!

Alright, it's been such a long time since I last blogged about what I’m doing.
Boohoo, ok, it's 2 to 4 days only! I know.
But I have so much to say in these few days.
Even when I was doing business in my toilet, I had lots to say!
But now, I have forgotten what I want to say totally. Sigh.

Don’t ask me why I need my emo corner back.
But I seriously need to plan ahead for what is coming up for me.
I feel a little uneasy when I am with people that I don’t really know.
Ever since my ex-bf, I am not able to break through my social network, and it’s very hard for me to find someone that i can trust and confide to. I know it’s bad, but I can’t seem to accept everyone at one go.
I have very few friends that I really count as friends, not because I am very hard to get along with (eh, maybe leis) but I just can’t accept people (friends) who come into my life and breaks my heart continually.

It’s very hard on me, I am there trying to pick up the damage, others took it away and throw it beyond my reach.
And I have a very good case example. OK, I don’t wanna say who lah.
This is why I always take a very very very very deep breath when I stepped in the class. Sounds stupid? Hahaha. Yea, I know. LOL.

Okay, I am trying my very best to converse to my new classmates and no, I am not expecting my them to get use to my craziness so fast.
Maybe, I am a little strange, trust me, more is coming your way.
I am a person that is very quirky
-low self-esteem
-honest critic if you want me to be, bitchy like mad
-can go gaga over handsome and sexy man (but I’m not desperate, they are a piece of art, and I enjoy them as well as woman. LOL)
-I don’t trust very handsome boy and pretty girl (not all thou, I feel that they have a tendency to lie and break your heart)
-straight
-sociable
-talk too much when I’m nervous
-emotionally attached to a person very fast
-very dependent
-stress easily
-honestly I have super horrible fetish
-playful, don’t comply to rules
-feels that I REALLY need to slim down like NOW NOW NOW!
-workaholic
-and lastly, I am really crazy!

some random thing.
“I don’t believe love at first side, but the more I look at you,
The more I am attracted to you.”

back back back, to the topic!
Oh ya, people often get a wrong perception about me, I am that kind of girls who don’t wait.
When I miss you, I mean it, and I really miss you which means that I will sms you and tell you I miss you (:
That also depends on whether do I like you or not. But for the most case, I don’t like the person except as a friend xD
Sometimes when I pray, certain faces come to me and I will tend to pray for them too.
So, when I tell you “I miss you” I don’t mean anything except for “I miss you”. Thus, no further connotation please.

Buddy, this is for you.
I don’t know why but I always thought that you’re the best person I could pour my heart out to you.
I know I still can, but the problem is, when I need you, you are always busy or I don’t know maybe M.I.A? Where were you?
I am not exactly a fan of messaging you.
Really, when I’m out with you and I see how you messaged others and the way you messaged me, it’s totally different.
You replied them less than 5 minutes.

I am fucking jealous, really am.
What about me, i need help, i need you!?

Just like today, I just need 10 mins of your time today, yet you can give me none.
I came upon something so interesting that I wanted to tell you, but after waiting for your call, or in event of calling you in the afternoon, your response is something like this “hey, I need to do something, call you back in ?? mins” and you never call back, NEVER.
If you don’t call, sms me and tell me.
I’m so tired of waiting blindly.
Waiting is a torturing process for me.
I hate waiting, and the worst part is, you are always the person I’m waiting for and you don’t seems give a damn about me.

You can choose to ignore this message, because i just need to get this out from my heart.

Things will never be the same if the pain is still there haunting your heart.

Anyway, I need to create awareness, this is what words can harm one person. Believe it, the impact is fucking serious.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/23/bullying.suicide/index.html

crazy.

2009-04-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

Life seems to be in a blur.

I am so lost now.

I need my emo corner back, and damn hell,

I miss you like mad.

Do you even know that?

I can barely even breathe.

I should take thing one step at one time.
I am so messed up and screwed up.
I am troubled.

I am so obsessed with me, my thoughts, myself and everything about me.

(credit to : postsecret)

Michelle.N knows me inside out.

I am glad, am really glad.

I love you and i hope you know that i love you (:

as a sister thou xD

It's just that these few days haven't been the best day of my life.

and lately i can't breathe because of problems.

yet i am in no position to throw away my responsibilities now.

I hope that you guys will give me some time,

i will tell you what i am going through.

Trust me, even though i am not okay now.

I will be okay in a few days time or weeks or more more weeks.

I am strong enough for this (:

I need time to open my mouth.

when i didn't say anything doesn't mean that i forget you guys or i found someone new.

I don't know how to tell you my difficulties.

I am loss in words.

Even action.

Class is so energy-sapping.

I am so worn-out even before school ends.

And i look so fake in class;

because i am trying my best to pretend everything is okay when i know it's not !

I am beginning to feel the negative vibe around me asking me not to go school.

damn..

I can even message the wrong person.

I cant even differentiate the letter S and Y.

How lost can i be now?

Bare with me for a lil while ok?

God, guide me through this phase of my life.

I need help.

Amen

nobody wants to be the last one there

2009-04-13T17:27:00.000+08:00

Some real stuffs.
I've been very bitchy and childish these few days.

You can choose to listen,
you can choose to rant over it,
you can choose to think about all the bad things about me,
but, i am still being me.

My mood is crazy now; really crazy.
All over the places.
I was given a choice to be supervisor at first.
I rejected.
The reason why i rejected was mainly because of responsibility.
I hate responsibility.
I hate being serious at all times.
I hate to change this part of me.
I'm so afraid that when i take up this job, I won't be the me anymore.
I will be possessive, over-bearing, controlling, (fuck!) and being one hell of a bitch to others.
But i still accepted it.

The money tempted me to do so.
Because my family is not well-off.
that's the reason why.
That's the damn reason why i took up the title.
and i feel cheap, way fucking cheap.
How can i sell my life away?!

While i walked home,
i hated my family for not giving me the money, my school fees.
because i want to learn so many things.
I want to do so many things i love.
But i can't.
Because my family is poor, not rich.
and i need to work.
I know everyone is tired, i know.
I am too.
Very tired and sick of it.

But when i stopped walking halfway,
my panic attacks came to me suddenly,
i nearly reached a breakdown point.
I dont know.
Everyone is fighting for nothing.
and i realised, i am fighting for nothing too.
I am fighting for nothing that i love..
Nothing..
I know Dad is suffering from his job.
and his pay is damn fucking little bit.
But the fact is, i dont understand why,
i dont understand why is he always being so pushy, so demanding?

I think don't know really know anyone of you guys beside me right?
I dont think i know myself anymore.
I dont know what i want in my life anymore.

This is a turning point in my life.
I gotta need to find the purpose in my life.
I feel ugly even though i got the blinks blinks.
I need to take up responsibility;
i need to learn.
I need to grow up.
I need to stop crying and stop getting panic attack.
I need to be mature yet be myself away.

I need time for myself now.
yet again. (:

DUH!

2009-04-10T19:11:00.000+08:00

I think i get what it means by the word "disappointment".

Gosh, it's suppose to be Good Friday.

They day when we thank God for sacrificing his life to save us.

SO, WHATSUP with the people today?

Everyone is out to piss me off.

SERIOUSLY!

But it's okay, Ashley is like making me happy now.

Wahahah !

Dont get me wrong, Ashley isnt my BF or GBF/BBF or anything more.

(P.S it's weird i know; GBF stands for Good/Girl-boyfriend)

oh whatever.

I had the worst morning.

First, i woke up with leg cramps.

It's bad.

IMAGINE*

you're sleeping comfortably with your dog/cat/lizard/cockroach and then SOMETHING;

SOMETHING VERY PAINFUL forces you to wake up.

How sad is that?

and i woke up at 8am.

after that i went down to kopitiam to have my breakfast with mum.

Like usual, AUNTIES are cutting my queue.

What the hell!

I've waited 30 mins for a bowl of wanton mee.

(ashley is sighing now, because he wants to eat and i'm still blogging)

ok. i dont feel like blogging now.

because the rest of my day sucks and hurts quite badly.

Amen.

"Dear God,

(this is my silent time, i'm calling on God now. shhhhhh!)

dear God, dearest God,

i know you're "dead" today,

but please dont rest now, it's getting preetttyyy bad without you here.

i can't wait till easter day.

I need to get through this day and i will be having a nightshift.

And i feel like my day is so fucked up.

So guide me through all this crap.

seriously, why do i make myself so important to others when i'm just an option to them?

i'm feeling so ridiculous now.

So please, get me thru all shits.

Aiks.

God, i want a iPhone/Samsung m8800 to make me happy now.

how contradicting as it seems but i feel that happiness is what i need more than technology now.

hais.

Dont rest.

show me the way, and i'll walk behind You.

(ashley disturbed me for 3 times alrdy)

So God, please.

anyway i feel that my mom is the best.

i love her.

i love ashley too.

but i love my mom the most.

oh not forgetting my dog.

pass my love to them.

Amen.

yea

2009-04-10T10:05:00.000+08:00

It's funny about how people perceive about other people.

The way they think about somebody else.

I admit that I am a girl who thinks very differently from other people.

and yes, I don't believe in other's philosophies in their life.

Because philosophies are constantly always changing.

E.g : I may be your best friend today, however,

if you find a flaw in me that you totally despise (maybe say i smoke pot or weed),

the fact that i am your best friend may change into someone to gossip about.

You believe that best friend always stay as a best friend.

But who knows, your best friend has something that you hate so much.

Will he/she be your best friend like usual?

Or maybe, "hey we're gonna get married in 5 months times." (show off her hot girl to friends)

"DAMN! BABY, i dint know you're a monster that had 4 breasts!?"

-marriage cancelled-

That's life, ain't it?

It's really that stupid.

That's why philosophies are always changing.

"ohhh, i like you, you're so cute.

I believe that cute people are always so real,

they look too cute to do anything to you. awwww.."

damn you,

that's because most probably you haven't meet cute people with bad character.

who can uphold their life's philosophies?

Not many people can do that.

For, my philosophies are :

- I believed in first impression last, but i believe more in proving me your that first impression, i dont instantly like a person when i first meet them.

- I'm quite skeptic about people.

Human is what i'm talking about.

We, humans are smart animals.

Thinking animals.

EVIL animals.

Can anyone be as pure as Jesus?

NO.

Can anyone be so sure of what they want like what Jesus wants to do for us?

NO.

We are always tempted to the bad side.

OH, HE/SHE IS RICH, I MUST GET NEAR TO HIM.

that's evil lurking.

money, sex.

and gosh, i wish i have determination like what Jesus had.

It's so hard.

I dont have a purpose in life now.

i'm still finding. it's hard

I don't believe in love at first sight (provided you're not talking about idols or stars).

I believe in my belief systems.

I believe that success comes hard;

but i'll keep on trying to get the best for myself :D

I don't know how you think.

That's how i think about myself.

For now, it will be like this.

I'm sure, after a few months.

My philosophies will change again.

so dont come running to me tell me that you're sure and very sure of what you'll not do this or you will do this.

Because time changes a person.

to be better or worse.

This is how we're made to do.

to experience

to love

to hate

to be someone impt to somebody.

nobody's perfect

nobody's on the bottom

nobody's gonna be nobody.

everyone is someone special.

everyone is on the top of the world.

SO ! I am special.

for you to go crazy over me :P

(how thick-skinned. heheheheehehhe~)

love you?

2009-04-08T03:49:00.000+08:00

cute ? :p

This is my dear dear Ajish going back to India.
wish him all the best and we shall see you soon ! :D
Lucy, here to say a happy birthday!
Ashley Tay, also happy birthday to you!
不要在唱“我的爱人”了啦！
心会痛的，这样子很累的，傻瓜！

Been on quite a roller coaster ride these few days;
mood goes up and down.
yeah, it is that bad.
oh my god, there's actually quite a few angels talking to me.
Giving me advices;
one of them is Michelle.
another two of them is Alvan and James (long lost friend eh!)

I should be just a lil bit more selfish to myself.
A lil more pride in whatever i do.
A tad more confident in myself.
You should be the one worrying, not me.
Why should i even be worrying and feel intimidated?

Why didn't i think of that?
AISEH!
ok. stop.
i'm mumbling to myself again.
ohhh, i know that's cute :P
heehee.

I should stabilize myself before i can do anything.
Singing K with that group of ppl is like "SHIOK" ok.
Yen is much a good singer, and i am so lousy can !
wahahahah !
(sorry, i am so random now!)

Back to topic again;
i was chatting with James and Michelle (cousin);
and i've found out that the past is always so cute.
We were talking abt the day when i was drunk and michelle's birthday.
Everything seems like Just Yesterday?

Those days that i've been drunk.
Those melodrama days.
Those cycling days.
Those laughing and drinking like mad people days.
Those stupid days.
Those fun days.
Those were the days that i fell so deep.
and you still didnt know it.
Maybe you knew it, but it wasnt you.
It was the you that used to be with me.
That was the you i'm looking for.
Not the you that have been using me.
Not the new you; the old you.

Everyone is leaving, i think the both of us should stay the same.
You reckon so?

Time off is good.
I think you should be worrying.
I know you will be worried.
Not for me but for yourself (:
ohh. i am fine now.
Michelle Kam, dont think too much too (:
You ought to have a rest.
enjoy your genting trip :D
Qinghui, dont let evil tempt you to the darkside.
heehee :P
You need to stay calm and think of yourself ok.
Other people?
They are crap.
totally.

sigh

2009-03-30T08:16:00.000+08:00

I'm just so tired of family problems.
someone, bring me out alive from it ok?
sigh.

WOOT :D

2009-03-28T08:33:00.000+08:00

Today has too much of a coincidence.
Haha !
I guess God really do has a plan for me.

Went out with Michelle.K again !
First, we went to Bugis to make some payment.
And we ate desserts at Dessert house.
O.M.G ; the desserts are beautiful.
As in literally lah, not the beautiful;
it tasted so nice; DAMN NICE !
(1st beautiful thing! nice food !)

And we continued our journey to Suntec.
There, i go and eat my favourite yogurt !
Yami yogurt ! wahahaha.
Peach yogurt with granola nuts.
(HOHO ! 2nd beautiful thing! FAVOURITE FOOD !)

And we walked all the way to Marina again.
saw some actress making some channel 8 show.
but who cares?!
so, i went into a shop called e-zinc.
guess what?
I bought a nice nice shirt with ruffles!!
wooo wooo~ very very nice.
(3rd beautiful thing! NICE SHIRT! heehee)

So just as we were passing by the Sasa shop,
one of the shop girls actually give us a complimentary make-up voucher.
kay-poh kay-poh i went into it.
seriously? seriously !
They really do provide free make-over and eyebrow trimming.
and the service was excellent.
So i had my eyebrow plucked nice nice.
(4rd beautiful thing had happened on me! FREE SERVICE !)

Walking so much around the mall actually burns calories.
Thus, The two of us were actually feeling a lil bit teeny weeny hungry-ness, so, we went to Carls Junior.

AND I MADE THE MOST STUPIDEST MISTAKE EVER !
okay.
The chillies fries was supposed to be $4.90.
I had $4 with me.
So i asked Michelle for another $1;
instead she gave me $5.
GUESS WHAT?
I gave the cashier $7 !?!!!
So being the puzzled him, was wondering why i gave him so much.
and being the normal me, looked at his nametag and his puzzled face, was wondering what took him so long to give me my money back.
Suddenly, Michelle said "Qinghui, why you gave him $7? $5 dollars enough alrdy mah?!"
I was like "YA HOR? wth? why did i give $5?"
Him (Kenneth) "ya. hahaha. you gave me extra"
and know what.
I knew Kenneth !
Damn it !

He was my audition buddy and same school mate!
i only realised when he was smoking outside and i stared at him.
(cause he's quite cute luh actually)
and his face just ring a bell to me. LOL

MY GOD !
you see !
When he sent over our milkshake then i had the courage to ask him!
HAHA !
(5th beautiful thing; i knew my friend back.)

in a day, there's a few unhappy things happened.
first and foremost, i dont wish to hurt anybody feeling;
especially mine.
so i remained quiet.

secondly, it hurts real bad.
really bad.
till i'm numbed.

third, i just dont wish to speak of it anymore.

DEAR GOD,
MY HAIR.
IT TANGLES AND DRIED UP.
NOW IT LOOKS LIKE A HORSETAIL!
I HOPE MY CONDITIONER WORKS.
AND ALSO GOD,
I WANNA SLIM DOWN 10KGS!
SO PLEASE PLEASE;
help me will You? :p
AMEN

(Vainity is actually a sin! Oops. But prayers do come true right? :p )

weeee

2009-03-27T00:29:00.000+08:00

This was how Michelle and me look.
Before we did anything super strange to our hair.
HAHA !
Guess what?
We're so crazy that we went for hair extention !
LOL !!

TA-DA !
Nice right?
but the both of us feel like GHOST. LOL
Our hair is damn long~

WOOHOO.
once again.
I am super happy.
spare me work and him for a day = happiness :D
wahahaha.

God bless my beautiful sister for being so nice to me :D
and thanks God for having such a wonderful sister + friend.
heehee. Amen.

p.s : i really need to slim down alot ! argh !

away

2009-03-26T09:21:00.000+08:00

I got tired of waiting;

Wondering if you were ever coming around.

My faith in you is fading.

i am still happy.

but part of me is dead after so many things had happened;

i've decided.

"You're not going to be part of my life"

you'll not even be one chapter.

you'll just be a few sentences;

a few words.

Like this : "be gone and go."

Just go and leave me alone.

i am tired of waiting.

really tired.

i'm not waiting anymore.

Thanks for the memories (:

omfg *(&@(^E#(E^#

2009-03-25T09:15:00.001+08:00

Buddy and me !

Camwhoring !

But there's only two productive photos out of so many that we've took .

LOL.

anyway, to be honest.

i havent been going out with all Michelle x3 since dont know how long eh.

miss them loads.

sigh.

tell you guys one fact.

my house, got one cute little yellow bird.

which is our regular customer to my plants;

the cute lil small bird actually built a nest here !

YIPEE! :D

SO CUTE CAN.

you can see the bird sleeping there one.

If we're too loud, it flies away :(

but i swear, it's totally da "SEX" moment.

LOL.

heehee.

interesting?

it is right?

Today at work,

i actually sucked a sweet with fungus.

and the clock dropped behind me.

it's all evil signs.

i need to be careful~

*turn behind.

*see got evil spirits or not.

I think my cheerful VIBE is too strong.

wahahaa !

Goh Qing Hui is happy !

bud, butt and ass

2009-03-24T00:26:00.000+08:00

Dont ask me why am i so happy.
he was secretly taking my pictures =.=
hahahaha.
Someone was emphasizing that i was very pretty.
LOL. so rare for him to say that.
and i must thanks him for the sweet lil comment!
=x

argh.
walked around so much today.
see him get a new phone.
see him show off, but doesnt know how to use it.
and instead i am a much better user than him.
how sad. :p
WAHAH !
noob ass xD

whatever.
and he seated at the suntec fountain talking cock.
well, it's nice.
and there's so many honest comments.
i appreciate alot. (:

i'm tired zzzz.
buddy, stop making me smile to myself.
gosh. i look totally stupid =.=

you know the reason why i breathe.
you know my destiny (:

hello !

2009-03-22T22:51:00.000+08:00

BOO !
I AM HAPPY !
THAT'S ALL :D

sigh and happineessss

2009-03-21T10:44:00.000+08:00

Love is life and
Life is living,
it's very special. :D

You'll always be my baby.
sigh..
Do you know how special are you to me?
There are times when i really want to tell you how special you're to me.
But I just can't because there are restrictions.
We have restrictions.
and baby, i really miss you (:

And even though i can't have you,
Desires like these are true for you.

Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see.
This is my heart bleeding before you.
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.
Sigh.

I am really not getting over you.
This is so not me.

The question is, "why you? why not others?"

Oh oh.
Work sucks.
family matters getting better.
(:
ain't i happier?
I AM HAPPIER (:

BTW, airport terminal 3 Lontong so nice can!
I can eat non-stop for that.
Anyway, i've already stop running !
Getting fatter by the moment.
BECAUSE i ate too much lontong.
HAHA.

Buddy said he wanna buy Samsung phone.
He hinted me this morning.
he exaggerated how much he LURVVEEE that phone.
I told buddy i wan big money more than $1 million,
and i hinted him this morning too.
and how much i LLURRVEE money like that in big amount.
Guess who won this match?
heh hehe.

I want to piant my room this PINK.
okay, maybe darker.
those sizzling hot pink. WOO.
then my bed to japanese bed.
and side lamps.
WOOOHOO.
I love imagination.

I think i am indeed happier (:
Thank you everyone.

p.s i'm not smoking that much already can!
arghhh.

wooo.

2009-03-20T20:52:00.000+08:00

omg.
i scolded a passenger very loudly.
never lose my cool like this before, but he was intolerable.
sure get complaint already, never in my life got one complaint letter before.
i was so angry that i don't answer his questions when he asked me,
he was a frigging arsehole.
china man.
when he talked i dont even have a chance to open my mouth and tell him what's wrong.
my punch was going to fly to him already.
i was so determined to call the police at that time.
argh.

36 hours of no sleep.
and complex feelings inside me.
then he disturbed me.
serve him right.
He thought i'm a chinese therefore he can scold me so fluently.
argh.
fucking arsehole.
where on earth does this kind of people come from?

chill chill~
i slept 13 hours non-stop.
but i still feel so damn tired. :(
i'm quitting smoking already.
so stop me when you see me smoke.
hahaha!

crazy me.

2009-03-19T20:57:00.002+08:00

you'll always have a spell on me.
ever since so long ago.
think i'm still so crazily in love with you.
you still dont know who you are yet.
and i regretted not voicing out.

i think ytd overnight was totally absurb, fun, crazy and still absurb.
i did something i shouldnt do.
tsk.
huihui ah, you have to stop doing things that are irrational can?!

"everything is back to normal right?
gosh.
i'm so sorry to that person.
(hope you're reading it.)
i didnt mean to do those stuffs.
still friends?"
(peeps, if you are reading this, please i didnt kill or agitate anyone. hahahaah!)

Hope that bro didnt see that.
argh.
if he saw that, sure got alot of misinterpretation
sure wrong impression of me.
argh.

ok, i shouldnt be thinking too much.
hmmmm.
anyway, home is a mess.
i dont like my home.
i am tired.
i want to sleep.

and i'm going to work soon..
argh.

:(

2009-03-19T09:55:00.000+08:00

i was wondering why did i show off your pic when you're not my bf anymore?
sigh.

i think i still miss you.

something to share?

2009-03-17T18:00:00.000+08:00

Here are some nice Dilbert's one liners..:

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..

7. Born free, taxed to death.

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

11. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

12. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

13. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

14. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

15. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

16. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

17. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

18. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!

19. If you can't convince them, confuse them.21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

20. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

21. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

22. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

23. Someday is not a day of the week

24. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

25. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

26. The road to success.... Is always under construction.

27. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

28. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

29.If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

30.If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.

31.Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups

…….and here's the best of the lot

32. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or in love with someone else

Homura

2009-03-17T15:50:00.000+08:00

okay.
I'm like totally sick right now.
But i still wanna go jogging; or at least swimming.♥♥
argh.

So pek chek.
Buddy ♥ and friends went to genting and malaysia already :(
argh.
still thinking should i pay the iPhone ♥ or not?
next month seems to be quite little money!
with mistakes and sickness,
i missed out lots of days not working!
guess i'll be taking back home around 600 plus or lesser.
DAMN it.

anyway, the smell of nicotine ♥ still lingers at my fingers.
so tempting.
I need to quit the bad habit.
I need to quit it so badly!
ughhh. So many things to do so little time.

fuck my bills.
laptop ($70); phone ($62); transportation ($52); debts ($70) and lots of miscellaneous stuffs.
total is around $400.

And genting too. wtf shuld i do?
enlighten me pls someone.

Hate to worry abt money and relationship.
two of the big major unsettled stuffs in the world.
Sensitive; easily lost; and whatever bad it is. Argh.

God ! I need more money and more time!
Amen ♥
Ask and i shall receive. heehee ♥♥

first.

2009-03-17T02:50:00.000+08:00

Well, it's a new blog.
I've reverted back to use blogger.
hahaha. I'd still think i love to use things that i'm so used to it.

argh.
the smell of the nicotine still lingers around my fingers and lips.
I'm so used to it till i'm craving for it now.
How bad is this? very bad.
*shakes head*

(this is when you have bad influential beside you :p )

i'm in a lost right now.
who can be accountable for those time when our eyes met?
when we promised each other we will be nothing more than a friend?
should i laugh that we are friends or should i cry because that's all we'll ever be?
life is such a bitch.

i'm waiting for the clock to hit 5 am.
5 am and the first thing i'll do is to take bus 27 to airport.
to terminal 1 to buy cigerettes;
buy some satay sausage (havent been eating anything much);
take my working clothes;
and sit at the smoking area to see sunrise, while smoking.
That's my plan.

and know what,
that smoking area is my hiding place,
it has an incredibly nice view of the sunrise.
I can't wait for it.

Things has been messy for me these few days.
very messy i would say.
somehow, i'm being left alone :(
everyone is having fun.
I'm stuck at SG with work to do.
guess i'll go jogging my mind off after work today.
make myself all out; so i wouldnt have to think so much.
It's damn sucky, when all you can do is to make yourself busy.
till you dont even have time for yourself to forget a certain amount of stuffs.

I think God is pretty irritated by me now.
I prayed for like more than 3 times today to clear my uncertainties.
at the same time, i never feel so much close to God.
I thinks He thinks i need to go to His warm hands for awhile.
the world is a dangerous place for my mind to wander off like this.
ok, this is suppose to be intimate sharing.
Whatever, i just like it lor.

3.30am now.
And time is passing just the right pace with Ash and Beng talking to me.
i'm afraid that i might fall asleep. wooo
i was wondering again, if i go US, will anybody be worried for me?
argh. my dream is to study there.
is either USA or AUSTRALIA.
USA - mass communication
AUSTRALIA - veterinary
or ALL around the world.
Just to enjoy.. the wonder of nature or human nature.

Just to tell you;
i didnt know when not to stop loving you.
you have to teach me.
you have to draw a line.
you have to stop making me guess.
alright? the so-called friends forever, bff shits.
if i continue guesisng your next step.
i think i will give up on you.
being a friend or anything more.
because i dont want to dream of anything that never were and never will be.

Seriously, i can't find a reason to make me smile now.
Looking forward to a better day.
My guts tell me it will be.